Hudson Yards

Between 30 & 34th Streets at 10th Avenue

Hudson Yards Details

In the face of a planet ravaged by climate change, and the subsequent collapse of civilization, how is humanity going to carry on? The answer may be found at The Hudson Yards, New York’s latest destination sensation. A prototype of a Martian colony ship, the $25 billion facility was created by AlphaZon (and Related companies), and is designed as a proof-of-concept for how humanity can escape a denuded Earth while living in hermetically sealed comfort through the duration of the Monsanto Mars Terraformation®.

For casual visitors, wealthy guests, and the moderately critical, the Hudson Yards Martian Colony Ship provides the opportunity to kinda sorta experience what life will be like for future colonists. Numerous distractions are available to delight the senses and excite the passions during the mind numbing journey and the several year period where drones, robots and the people in the orange jumpsuits create a sustainable environment. A seven story mall chock-a -lock with high end retail allow the casual consumer err… colonists to browse collections of six figure watches & jewelry, $200 skinny jeans at NYC’s first Neiman Marcus, and then trundle off to H&M for more affordable world destroying fast fashion.

Foodies will be excited to explore the high-end mess halls such as TAK Room, at Hudson Yards, the first new offering to New York from Per Se genius Thomas Keller. Meanwhile at Kawi, David Chang tapped fine dining genius Eunjo Park to head a Korean inflected eatery. José Andrés’ Mercado Little Spain is massive 35,000 sg foot food-hall, think Eataly but for Spain. Full-service restaurants contained in that include Leña, focusing on grilled meats and paella, and the seafood focused Mar.

If eating and shopping aren’t your jam, culture and sight-seeing abound. The latest hi-rise viewing-platform, The Edge, at 1,100 feet high, is the highest out-door viewing deck in the Western Hemisphere. If you lucky, and MBS or Mark Zuckerburg have not rented out the restaurant/event space one floor above, you can cash in your 401k to sip a bespoke cocktail and enjoy the spectacular view.

Perhaps a bit more accessible is the colony ship’s former power plant known as The Vessel . Designed by Thomas Heatherwick and Heatherwick Studio it was originally built as a containment vessel for Jeff Bezos consciousness, whose ambition was then meant to provide the drive and energy needed for the long trip to Mars. However, fatal flaws discovered in its ego fencing forced the engineers to scrap its original purpose and instead converted it into an Escher-like public space. Colonists and visitors can wander its strange lattice work of 154 intricately interconnected stairs and 80 viewing platforms.

Hudson Yards
Between 30 & 34th Streets at 10th Avenue
New York, NY 10001
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