BRIEF BIRTHDAY POSTING

MOURNFULLY CELEBRATORY NOTE OF THE DAY:

Today is my birthday.

It has been a hard one as it will have been the first one on which I did not receive a call from my father. ( They were generally of a charming singing variety and tended to include the question "My goodness, where does the time go?") It is an absence that haunts the day. But I am trying to affirm my birth and continued existence, despite the acute sadness and sense of loss. I figure not to do so would be an insult to my father's memory and to the gift of life he helped to give me. But that said, there are still 6 hours till midnight... and there is some part of me that half expects him to still call. That simply cannot accept the permanence and unnegotiability of his absence. That is suffering from phantom father syndrome.

I am feeling the wound of my birth. I am feeling the wound of his death.

I dedicate this birthday, this posting and this trip around the sun to my father.

May he rest in peace.

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Posted on 7/25/2007 ( Permanent Link )
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