Three More postings from my other blog* in non-linear chronological order

CLARIFICATION OF TITLE:

*My other blog is called Random Acts of Commentary at www.teddyvegas.blogspot.com. Warning. It includes material that might be offensive and inappropriate for the sports-averse among you. But that material can be readily skipped over. In any event, I tend to post there more frequently and then skim off the sports stuff and copy and paste the rest of the material here.

IMAGE OF THE DAY:

See above.

POLITICS:

Wow. Must've been onto something with my prediction in the last post. Lots and lots of people are getting on the O train. The prediction markets have Obama as 70% likely to win--a fact that has suddenly been deemed newsworthy by the mainstream press. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080211/pl_nm/usa_politics_predictions_dc). Gonna be interesting seeing Hillary trying to rebrand herself as Seabiscuit after having been running as War Admiral. And staying with the horse-racing theme: One is tempted to say Obama might be running away with this thing, but one mustn't underestimate both the media's and the general electorate's desire for a photo finish.

(BTW: I think that's the first time I used the contraction "mustn't" in my life. My grandfather used to say it...and it brings back fond memories of an earlier and less complicated time in the world in particular and the life of Teddy Vegas in general.) :)

P.S. Thanks to R. for the photo-finish metaphor. You know who you R.

MEDIA OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:

News headline: Microsoft terms Yahoo’s refusal “Unfortunate.” Doesn’t that sound like the words of a rejected suitor/stalker who now has been given no choice but to rape? "Well, I courted her with my charmlessness and my big wad of cash and well, it's just unfortunate that she left me no option but to take her by force."

FACTOID OF THE DAY:

A woman is severely assaulted by her husband/boyfriend every 15 second in this country; A man is severely assaulted by his wife/girlfriend every 14.6 seconds.

LFAQs of the DAY:

My question: How often is it the same couple?

Can you simultaneously raise one nostril and the opposite eyebrow?

Which aging Arizonan is more tired: McCain schlepping along the election trail or Shaq after his first workout with the Suns?

SCREENPLAY CONCEPT OF THE DAY:

A compassionate very successful person employing a delusionally narcissistic loser friend as his “life coach.”

DESCRIPTION OF THE DAY:

He was a good sport-- acting like he was falling for the older man's pranks in order to let him feel like the uncle he always wanted to be.

DUET NAME OF THE DAY:

Two standard deviations.

RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY: (With thanks to M.)

If there is one thing one could say about him it's that he'd never voluntarily massage the intercostal muscles of an unattractive woman.

--

PHILOSOPHICAL/ADVERTISING REFLECTION OF THE DAY:

Was looking at that Jerry Orbach organ donor ad in the subway which talks about how perhaps the greatest role in this great thespian’s life was as an eye donor. And I started thinking about how uniquely and disorientingly weird it would be to meet someone who had been given your deceased loved one’s eyes. More disorienting even than having been given say your deceased loved one’s nose or pancreas or foot. Why? Because donated eyes are at the center of a perfect storm of metaphysical identity problematics. You have embedded within this single instance of posthmumous giving not only the problem of body versus soul (which would be general to any organ donation) or the issue of part versus whole (how does this single body part preserve the donor’s identity after it’s been recontextualized by the donee’s whole physical being?), but also the unique issues associated with the priviledged status of the eyes as the putative windows to the soul. In any event, the eye donation, thus philosophically triangulated, would, I imagine, make it a triply unsettling experience for the Orbach children if they were to meet the individual sporting their father’s generously bequeathed orbs.

NEW CAREER GOAL:

Usurist.

NEW CAREER IDENTITY:/MARKET NICHE:

The quipping usurist.

PROFESSIONAL MOTTO:

Remember quipping is only ½ my job description. The other half is lending money at exorbitant rates.

SUMMARY OF A FRIENDSHIP OF THE DAY:

Wow, that’s so exciting about you winning the lottery. I’m just so happy for you. In fact I feel like we’ve fused into one soul and I’m so happy it’s as if I feel that you are me. And I’m about to be very very disappointed that you are not.

POLITICAL OBSERVATION:

General observation: Been struck by how, after many months of not being sure whom they supported and feeling generally positive about the batch of candidates the Democrats were putting forward, so many Democrats suddenly have a strong preference for one of the two remaining candidates and a strong aversion to the other. I wonder if what is at work is the all too human desire to associate the valorization of one thing with the denigration of the other. People want to feel that the choice has all the moral clarity of a battle between Good and Evil (whether it's Mets versus Yankees, Hillary versus Obama, Hutus versus Tutsis etc.) and that they are, of course, on the side of pure, uncomplicated Good. It's just so much more cathartic for people to feel that kind of clarity and righteousness.

On the other hand, the imperitives of journa-blogga-listic probity and objectivity (not to mention Paul Krugman's Op-Ed in the NYT today) compel me to acknowledge that there seems to by an asymmetry in the frequency and distribution of this valorization-villification phenomenon. Which is to say (far from elegantly!) that while I support Obama, I do feel that there is much more bitterness being directed by his followers towards Hillary than by Hillary's followers towards Obama, Whether this is a reflection on the kind of people (passionate idealists etc.) who are drawn to Obama, something inherent in the dynamics of a change versus status quo campaign or, indeed, a true reflection of Hillary's objectively greater unlikability is an interesting and open question, I suppose.

--

ORATORICAL EXCERPT OF THE DAY:

Obama's speech may as well have said:

It began as a whisper on the steps of the illinois senate....and it has been getting louder...and louder...all across this great land of ours... from the cornfields of Iowa to the French Quarter in New Orleans...from the rocky mountains to the schoolrooms of New England...and what it is saying is clear and undeniable...it is saying that hope is stronger than fear.. that the forces that unite us are stronger than those that divide us...and, most important of all, that misogyny is stronger than racism!!!

SLIGHTLY MODIFIED POLITICAL STORY OF THE DAY:

"Trying to overcome a string of losses and a staff shake-up, Hillary Rodham Clinton sought new energy Tuesday night from a boisterous crowd of about 12,000 in a state she hopes will provide a rebound in her quest for the Democratic presidential nomination..."

Well, actually, from a good cry and a pint of chubby hubby.

SCIENCE NEWS STORY OF THE DAY:

Just read on Yahoo that cholesterol reducing drugs may be linked to memory loss. Which may explain why I keep forgetting to take my Lipitor.

LFAQs of THE DAY:

Have you ever refered to your mother as "Holy, mother of God."

Will Hillary's firing or demoting the high ranking Latina aide jeopardize her anti-Obama Latino firewall? Or has the rfirewall already been burnt down to the ground?

Will the Republicans offer up Condaleeza Rice as McCain's VP as a way of playing the race card?

Should the "Congressional Steroids Hearings” be elegible for an EMMY for providing the most compelling comedy programming during the writer’s strike?

--

METAPHOR OF THE DAY:

It's a case of the tail wagging the dog. Only there's no dog.

LFAQs of THE DAY:

Are cold callers also cold answerers? That is to say: are people who professionally call people they don't know also more likely to pick up when they see a number they don't recognize?

Has anyone on death row ever requested steamed broccoli and tofu for his last meal? How about celery?

Isn't this Valentine's Day campus massacre compelling enough reason to decalare an end to this commercial charade of a holiday?

What is a more egregious violation of democratic principles: Some combination of the Supreme court and the Electoral College allowing Bush to win the 2000 election despite having lost the popular vote or Hillary Clinton ending up winning the nomination from the opponent who won more states and received more votes than she-- through cynical back channel negotiations for superdelegates and shameless efforts to retroactively claim delegates who were not in play at the time of her non contested "victories" in the Michigan and Florida primaries?

CARTOON WITHOUT ILLUSTRATION OF THE DAY:

-I hate Spring.
-Me too!
-Yeah, but you only hate spring cause you're a dark-hearted, life-hating person whereas I hate spring for purely spiritual reasons.

REALITY-INSPIRED ONION-ESQUE (SHALLOT-LIKE) STORY OF THE DAY:

Troops to Bush, U.S.O: Please stop sending us Robin Williams!

Evidently what's eroding the morale of our troops in Iraq is neither the constant attacks from relentless insurgents nor the bleak outlook for peace and progress. It's the repeated unwelcomed visits by Robin Williams.

"Hearing that hack material over and over...it really saps your spirit and morale." claims private first class Ryan Anderson. "It's like having a molotov cocktail of manic need and bottled schtick blow up in your face."

"Frankly, it's the need for approval that is just so tiring," explains Private John Kollmer . "It's worse than battle fatigue."

Sarah Wills, on her third tour of duty agrees. "Is this is all they can send us? I mean it sure doesn't make us feel like we're being valued for our efforts. If this is supporting our troops, well, please stop supporting us."

CONFESSION OF THE DAY:

I can't watch "Lost" because it reminds me too acutely of a painfully lost relationship.

NEWS COMMENT OF THE DAY: (On the Valentine's Day Campus Massacre)

"Steve was the most gentle, quiet guy in the world."

Yes, it's always the quiet ones. Which means that happily, as I believe I've noted before, no one has to worry about me.

BILL MAHER HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:

Best line of the night. "Hillary cries opportunistically. Right before the primaries. When she's behind. She cries like Bush issues terror alerts."

BILL MAHER LOWLIGHT OF THE DAY:

It always hurts when you see a model of skeptical rationality wax nutsy cooko. Bill Maher staggered the ideologically varied guest panel by going off on a rant about how all medicine is poison and if you live right and take care of yourself you'll never need medicine and people who get sick from people sneezing on them only get sick because they're not taking proper care of themselves. Ande if you do take care of yourself you should ne impregnable against all pathogens and you should never ever need antibiotics etc. etc. etc. In short, he was as dismissably nutty on the issue as Mos Def was on conspiracies and Tom Cruise is on post-partum depression and the unique helpfulness of scientologists.

He was as crazy on this issue as he claims religious people to be about religion.

It's Just so sad and makes you feel so alone when you see one of the few people you take to be some kind of a kindred soul or mind mate strip you of that illusion by revealing his inner loony tune--leaving you alone once more in the fortress of your august and invoilable sanity.

SEXISM VERSUS RACISM QUOTE OF THE DAY:

I've commented in previous posts on the roles of misogyny and racism in the current Democratic race and even glibly and tendentiously suggested that the Obama-Hillary choice could be reduced to the question of whom Americans disliked less: Women or African-Americans. Anyhow, I saw the following interesting and apposite comment on some blog somewhere and I figured I'd copy and paste it (BTW: Note to the pretentiousness-challenged: Apposite is an ostentatious way of saying relevant or a propos. And ostentatious is a showy way of saying showy.)

"When a sexist idiot screamed "Iron my shirt!" at Hillary Clinton, it was considered amusing; If a racist idiot shouted "Shine my shoes!" at Barak Obama, it would've inspired hours of airtime and pages of newsprint analyzing our national dishonor."

POETIC FRAGMENT OF THE DAY:

Day of Decision:

The sky looms over itself
as the sun comes down like a guillotine.

CLAIMS (OK, TRUTHS) OF THE DAY:

There are those who understand we're all going to die and that things are lost irrevocably in the stream of time and there are those who don't.

Dunkin Donuts coffee is far superior to Starbucks'. Au Bon Pain's Coffee is far superior to Starbucks'. The street vendor's coffee is at least as good as Starbucks' burnt, bitter swill.

Starbucks: The greatest hoax ever perpetrated on man.

Except for that Verona roast. Mmm. Yummy.

RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:

He liked to read, think, express and be.

Tags:   None

© All rights reserved.

Posted on 2/16/2008 ( Permanent Link )
Read 820 Times
 Send to Friend