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plaxiv
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Manhattan, Little Italy
In NYC Since: 1948

grumpy & corrupt old man 

December 04, 2006

Derek Jeter and Mickey Mouse for Comptroller



The NYC Board of Elections has released last month's election results, and it seems quite a few write-in candidates got one vote:

In the race for state comptroller, perennial Disney candidate Mickey Mouse garnered a single vote, as did Derek Jeter.

In the race for governor, old favorites like Al Sharpton and Alton Maddox each got one vote, as did Pat Buchanan. Bloomberg received three votes in this race (he only got one in the comptroller race).

In the race for attorney general, Gene Russianoff and Herman Badillo each got a single vote. Buchanan again got one vote here, Bloomberg got three, and a "Rudy Guilliani" (sic) got a single vote, which can be added to the actual Rudolph Giuliani's tally of one vote, for a total of two votes. Mark Green got five votes, just one vote shy of Maddox's six votes in this race.

In the race for US senator, newly re-elected president of Venezuela Hugo Chavez got one vote, as did "NEED MORE INTEGRETY IRAQ WAS A BIG MISTAKE" and "NO ONE IN PARTICULAR" as well as Ted Kennedy, Maddox, Qeen Mother Mour (sic), former President Bill Clinton, Tweety, Daisy Duck, Miss Piggy, Pat Buchanan, and the former officeholder of this seat, deceased senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan. Humorist Penn Jillette got one vote, indicating that cartoon characters and puppets aren't the only funny candidates out there. Giuliani did quite well in this race, picking up several votes. A formerly unknown candidate named "NEITHER ASSHOLE" also received one vote. In sum, perennial Disney party candidate Mouse did not fare so well in this election year, perhaps underscoring that the electorate's general disgust with politics in 2006 trumped age-old political malaise.


Tags:   derek jeter, hugo chavez, mickey mouse, rudy giuliani, ted kennedy


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Posted on 12/4/2006 ( Permanent Link )
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December 04, 2006

NYC's Global Village Loses Its Idiot



Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and Christmas comes early this year, for Ambassador John Bolton has announced his resignation. Of course, he had zero chance of confirmation in the Senate, but it's refreshing he got out while (as is said) the getting is good. He leaves the United Nations with no accomplishments of note, and without friends and allies in international organizations and the diplomatic community. Had former Senator John Danforth remained in that office, perhaps the killing in Darfur would have by now been mitigated, rather than increased to epidemic proportions. Bolton additionally leaves no shortage of disasters in the Middle East, which aside from Iraq include Iran, Lebanon, Israel, Palestine, and Syria, further proof that it's tough being the ideological bull in the china shop. Perhaps it's fitting his resignation comes on the day that his arch nemesis, Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, celebrates his re-election under rather dubious circumstances. (When you're an ideologue, there's never a shortage of enemies.) On the other hand, even the dear friends such as Hamid Karzai of Afghanistan failed to receive much of Bolton's minimalist largesse, as confirmed by a lengthy article today that the police force in Afghanistan is largely incapable of carrying out routine law enforcement work. Which department oversaw the contract for the training of Afghan law enforcement? The same one that oversaw Bolton, the State Department.

As you might expect, the charming man's departure has been greeted with sighs of relief. One salient quotion came from deputy secretary general Mark Malloch Brown: “No comment, he said with a smile,” he said "over his shoulder to reporters who pursued him as he hustled through the corridors of U.N. headquarters on his way to a meeting."

The Times' United Nations correspondent scored some other reports on Bolton's drawing power: In Moscow, the Novosti news agency quoted a Russian foreign ministry spokesman saying that Mr. Bolton had been “a very strong professional, although on a series of issues, including problems of U.N. reform, he supported extremely severe views.” The spokesman added that he hoped President Bush would nominate a successor without “excessive severity in his approach.” In other words, farewell to the extremist.

Another nice observation on Bolton's magentic personality came from the other great Security Council power: “I think he was serious about the American objective here of reforming the United Nations, and he pushed hard,” said Wang Guangya, the Chinese ambassador. “But of course, sometimes in order to achieve the objective, you have to work together with others.” Stated differently, this playground is losing its bully at semester's end.


Tags:   john bolton, united nations


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Posted on 12/4/2006 ( Permanent Link )
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