this business is trash!

I was biking along like Kermit the Frog this morning, having a wonderful time tooling about on my way to Trader Joe's. (Word of warning: most of the frozen foods I was about to buy were thawed. That means summer is here, the time when milk is already expired by the time you buy it because the morons at the supermarket have left it sitting outside in the sun for 45 minutes.) Anyhow I pulled up to the light alongside a garbage truck at Irving Place and 14th Street. (You wonder why a bicycle would bother to stop for a light, right? Well, there were many big trucks on 14th Street and I didn't need to get squashed. I have bills to pay!) The driver looked down at me and I looked up and said, "How's everything in the garbage business?"
His reply: "Picking up!"
Speaking of all-time worst jokes ever, I was again on said bicycle last night, heading home after dodging pedestrians on the bike path. I was biking alongside two coppers in a thick SUV. The one on the passenger side was singing Big Country's "In a Big Country," and I was about to tell him that he'd make more money at The Village Vanguard when I observed both coppers were extremely busy observed some girls' butts. They were totally mesmerized. The ladies walked away and I struck up a conversation with them: "Kinda reminds me," said I, "did you hear the one about the rope?"
"Naw," cop #2 replied.
"Skip it," I said, pedalling away.

Tags:   big country, bike, bike path, cop, kermit the frog, west village

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Posted on 6/13/2006 ( Permanent Link )
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