July 31, 2006
1. Hang out all day at Western Beef in the meat locker.
2. Get a large iced tea at a Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble and spend all day nursing it while reading 20 or 30 magazines.
3. Take the A train to Rockaway Beach, but don't get out of the train. Instead, continue back up to the Bronx. Repeat.
4. Eat a pint of Ciao Bella ice cream before going to bed.
5. Keep your air conditioning on low, praying that you will prevent a blackout.
6. Go to the multiplex at 11 a.m. and switch theaters every 90 minutes. The bored ushers will never figure it out.
7. Buy a bag of ice at Associated Supermarket and ration out the cubes to family members.
8. Fly to Ushuaia and enjoy chilly Tierra del Fuego.
9. Eat huge amounts of spicy food to promote sweat. Then drink water to stay hydrated.
10. Accost at least one guy in a huge SUV each day who's parked with the engine running and windows open. Ask helpfully: "Have you heard of global warming?" I had a great conversation on Saturday afternoon about this with a fat guy who was sitting in his Cadillac Escalade. He just sat there for more than 15 minutes talking to me, motor running and windows open. Then I got bored with him and left.
Tags:
associated supermarket, barnes and noble, ciao bella, rockaway beach, starbucks, western beef
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Posted on 7/31/2006
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July 27, 2006
It's so hot in England that Mark Vance, an entertainer at Warwick Castle who wears a full suit of armor and was named the man with the hottest job in Britain by The Daily Express, was photographed frying an egg on the breastplate of his outfit.
Meanwhile, back on the island of Manhattan, the radio announcer had said at 7 that it was already 75 degrees. Ten minutes later, I saw one of my favorite hot summer things: 12 cases of milk sitting on the sidewalk in front of Met Food. Of course, it was much cooler inside the market, so that's why the milk stays outside on the sidewalk. I joked about it with the bored cashier, apologizing that I'd taken her away from reading Cindy Adams' column in the New York Post just so I could buy a dozen organic eggs. She just laughed. Now you know why I don't buy milk this time of year; it's pre-curdled. Fortunately, eggs don't sour the way milk does in late July.
Then a few minutes ago, walking away with a take-out sandwich from one of my favorite Tribeca places, I walked past a huge flattened rat in the middle of Hudson Street near the city water tunnel #3 big dig. That's my other favorite hot summer sight, flat rats. There haven't been as many chicken bones and used Q-Tips on the corners as of late, but I've noticed the number of used Crest whitening strips thrown on sidewalks has increased. Apparently oral hygiene and fitness now trump nutrition and clogged ears.
Guess I should be thankful that at least I have electricity, right? One of the other odd things about hot summer days I can never understand is why does the cold water tap run hot for up to a minute? How can that be? Don't tell me the lead pipes in my building are feeling the heat as well....
Tags:
cindy adams, met food, milk, new york post, rats
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Posted on 7/27/2006
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July 18, 2006
WNYC radio is reporting that the lights are still out at two terminals at LaGuardia, and NY1 reports that some flights had to be cancelled and others delayed due to this power outage in Terminal A and parts of Central Terminal B. Although it appears to be a continuation of Monday's troubles, the outage is limited to passengers traveling on Delta and American Airlines. Con Edison claims to be working on the problem. I won't even mention the subway problems of yesterday or today.
Baby it's hot outside. Suggested listening: The Lovin' Spoonful's Summer in the City. Suggested beverage: lemonade, of course.
Tags:
american airlines, con edison, delta airlines, laguardia, lovin spoonful, summer in the city
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Posted on 7/18/2006
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July 12, 2006
Manhattan's not in Kansas anymore; a rush-hour tornado struck Westchester a few hours ago, hitting a California Closets store in Hawthorne. And once again, the Saw Mill Parkway got shut down. Global warming, anyone?
Tags:
saw mill parkway, tornado, westchester
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Posted on 7/12/2006
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July 12, 2006
You have to be kidding, right? A well-heeled immigrant doctor decides to make his townhouse go kablooie after a dragged-out dispute with his estranged wife. Sounds like a unique event. But wait: The New York Times reminds us of this little ditty from 2003: It was three years ago that Larry Feingold, an administrative law judge, blew up his apartment and seriously damaged three floors of his Stuyvesant Town building. Eight other people, including three firefighters, were slightly injured as a result of his suicide attempt.
Folks, I understand somehow if you are miserable and want to off yourself. But pills and booze are the traditional way, not using Con Edison's fabled gas mains to detonate your neighbors along with you. Meanwhile, the allegations continue to fly: The ex-wife hid from the Nazis as a child; he drew swastikas all around their house. Meanwhile, Dr. Bartha vowed he would turn his ex-wife from “gold digger” into “ash and rubbish digger.” This gives a whole new meaning to the term, as the writer points out, of over my dead body.
See you in divorce court!
Photo: Seth Wenig/Associated Press
Tags:
con edison, dead body, gold digger, townhouse
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Posted on 7/12/2006
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July 07, 2006
Chances are good if you're like me that you've watched the World Cup games up to the semifinals all over town. You slipped out of work to hit a bar, or you got invited to a friend's to watch on the big screen, or you stood on the sidewalk in front of La Esquina with the taxi drivers to catch a glimpse.
Sunday's a different story, because France is going to win and therefore you want to be kind of inebriated but also in a special location. Especially since it will be two more years since you'll be in this inebriated special location.
So that's why I jumped when I heard today that the Top of the Rock is setting up a jumbo screen at the Rockefeller Center observation deck. There's no higher open-air location in Manhattan, so if France doesn't win, you can either throw yourself over the edge or better yet, throw the Italy fans over the edge. Call 877-NYC-ROCK to reserve tickets or buy directly on their website.
Tags:
fifa, france, italy, rockefeller center, top of the rock, world cup
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Posted on 7/7/2006
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July 02, 2006
Central Park's SummerStage was sizzling yesterday and it wasn't just the weather. Right after 3 p.m. the English group Ska Cubano took the stage with their excellent mix of island music—that would be the islands of Jamaica and Cuba. Central Park was the opening show of their first North America tour. "Chango" and "Babalu" are two of their best-known songs, but their forthcoming CD ¡Ay Caramba! was for sale in the park and can be bought here. Ska Cubano has rightfully got a lot of press attention in the UK, and while Afropop Worldwide has given them some attention, this North America tour will get the press they deserve.
Then after an elaborate stage preparation, New York's own Balkan Beat Box began their wild carnival show with a big procession through the crowd, featuring a bit of Samba atmosphere, what with all those brass players and costumed performers. (Weren't they withering from the heat?) Tamir Muskat, Ori Kaplan and crew got their groove on with sounds that stretched from Romania to Yemen, Balkans to North Africa, Ramallah to Tel Aviv (to reference how they describe their style). A belly dancer accompanied one of the bestest Arabic songs, and the crowd was totally pumped. Haven't seen this much gyrating since catching Iggy Pop last summer at Jones Beach, and the Arabic pulse made me look forward to the upcoming Cheb i Sabbah show on July 22nd. What's so great about Balkan Beat Box is how they can quickly shift gears from one genre to another, and their happy style is truly infectious. Pretty incredible that while Ska Cubano took off for a show in Canada, Balkan Beat Box was scheduled to play today at the Roskilde festival in Denmark. No sleep 'til....København I guess.
Finally the latter-day incarnation of Fela Kuti took the stage, NYC's Antibalas, and I was immediately transported back to Zombie o Zombie. Their politics are even more direct than dear-departed Fela, and the hammer came down to the electronic gavel with the loud shout of "Order in the Court," the opening line from "Indictment" off their album Who Is This America? Hearing them call for the indictments of Karl Rove and so on just one day after the big ruling about Guantanamo—how timely. But unlike in Fela's burned Kalakuta Republic, Antibalas doesn't kill off their band members when their influence grows too strong. They just add more: At times I counted 12 or 13 performers onstage—the influence of so many plastic cups of Bass beer meant I ran out of fingers and had to use a third hand. Antibalas head off next week on a big European tour, starting in Portugal. Must be July is finally here!
Tags:
Antibalas, Balkan Beat Box, central park, Ska Cubano, summerstage
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Posted on 7/2/2006
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