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1. Hang out all day at Western Beef in the meat locker.
2. Get a large iced tea at a Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble and spend all day nursing it while reading 20 or 30 magazines.
3. Take the A train to Rockaway Beach, but don't get out of the train. Instead, continue back up to the Bronx. Repeat.
4. Eat a pint of Ciao Bella ice cream before going to bed.
5. Keep your air conditioning on low, praying that you will prevent a blackout.
6. Go to the multiplex at 11 a.m. and switch theaters every 90 minutes. The bored ushers will never figure it out.
7. Buy a bag of ice at Associated Supermarket and ration out the cubes to family members.
8. Fly to Ushuaia and enjoy chilly Tierra del Fuego.
9. Eat huge amounts of spicy food to promote sweat. Then drink water to stay hydrated.
10. Accost at least one guy in a huge SUV each day who's parked with the engine running and windows open. Ask helpfully: "Have you heard of global warming?" I had a great conversation on Saturday afternoon about this with a fat guy who was sitting in his Cadillac Escalade. He just sat there for more than 15 minutes talking to me, motor running and windows open. Then I got bored with him and left.
Tags:
associated supermarket, barnes and noble, ciao bella, rockaway beach, starbucks, western beef
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Posted on 7/31/2006
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