December 29, 2005
Fortune cookies tell it as it should be, or how it wasn't meant to be. Some thoughts for 2006:
1. Many successes will accompany you this year: The passion for Chinese happy taco takeout continues to diminish as the passion for Chinese-run Thai takeout increases.
2. New ideas could be profitable: Mega restaurants high on themes continue to thrive. Buddakan, Morimoto, Del Posto, Ninja and other one-word confections represent the high end of fashion fusion dining. Meanwhile, Brazil's imported Porçao churrascaria will be a surprise hit.
3. Someone from your past has returned to steal your heart: One-word restaurant names will give birth to exurban spawn: Home begets Hearth, Thor begets Wotan, and so on.
4. You have tasted the bitterness as well as the sweetness of coffee: this fortune reminds us that even with 1000 Starbucks locations in Manhattan, the quality of the product varies based on which barista is pressing the buttons. Memo to corporation: no more single-shot espressos in grande cups, please; half the shot is absorbed by the paper cup. "I never drink coffee": heard from more than one of your employees.
5. Diligence and modesty can raise your social status: Disregard this; clearly no one in New York believes this.
6. Disbelief destroys the magic: Yep, you are getting ripped off and getting bad service. Tip 20% anyhow.
7. You are about to overcome a great obstacle: Amazing how that tripe dish tastes when there are seven others at the table watching you.
8. Don't ask, don't say. Everything lies in silence: No one else at the table knows what Cardoon salad with anchovy vinaigrette will taste like, and admitting ignorance signals weakness.
9. Life is like a dogsled team. If you aren't the lead dog, the scenery never changes: That's why the CEO's executive assistant has the private reservation numbers for the hottest restaurants on speed dial.
10. The love of your life will appear in front of you unexpectedly: Clearly refers to the new Balducci's.
11. There's no harm in asking: But you're not gonna get a reservation for Friday at eight, no matter how much you wheedle, plead or whine.
12. You are about to overcome a great obstacle: Dinner reservations at per se Friday at eight, and at Perry St on Saturday.
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Posted on 12/29/2005
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December 21, 2005
On this second day, the war of words heated up as the city's temperatures stayed frigid. TWU leader Roger Toussaint held a mid-afternoon news conference in which he maximized the use of terms such as dignity, thereby ratcheting up the rhetoric begun in the early morning by Mayor Bloomberg, who referred to union heads as thuggish. Indeed, Brian Lehrer noted on WNYC radio that everyone on the stage with Toussaint was black, quite a contrast with the top MTA brass, mayor and governor, all of whom are white. Indeed, Toussaint underscored how the billionaire mayor made his money, in a rambling speech contrasting Bloomberg's high-tech company with low-tech MTA railroad and bus work. While Bloomberg focused on how mom-and-pop businesses are being hurt, Toussaint stressed that families with kids need a better deal from the MTA. Toussaint demanded to know why the mayor refers to the rank-and-file as thugs, since the MTA workers are the same guys who performed admirably on 9/11 and during the blackout.
Fortunately, the blogosphere did what the printing presses could not: deliver. Editor & Publisher explores how New York City's transit strike derails newspaper sales, in particular the Daily News and the New York Post, the subway rider's best tabloid friends. The Post's circulation director Paul Glaeser says: "We are definitely being hurt. There are not a lot of people getting into the city. The subways and bus lines are our bread and butter." And even at the gray lady: "We have changed the sequence in which newspapers are distributed to allow newspapers to get into Manhattan before the 5 a.m. deadline," said Catherine Mathis, a spokeswoman for The New York Times, referring to the 5 a.m. to 11 a.m. timeline in which the four-person minimum is in effect. "To accommodate the traffic rules, we have moved up the time they distribute." As the blogosphere went into overdrive, we were bombarded with woeful tales, some even employing Google maps to pinpoint who is suffering where.
Television tried as well to cover this ongoing live event, but the Times' Alessandra Stayley notes it's less exciting than, for example, choppers following OJ Simpson on L.A. freeways, as the roadway drama is more static here. In other words, everyone is stuck and continues to be stuck. And it sounds better on 1010 WINS than it looks on NY1. And it looks even more dramatic in those big slideshows at flickr and Yahoo; somehow these still images capture the mood more than endless TV coverage of traffic jams, with which we are all familiar anyhow. (Of course, we're reminded that public transport workers are seemingly always on strike in Paris.)
Those who depend most on the subways' warmth in winter, the homeless, are left in the cold, notes the Associated Press.
Meanwhile, Judge Theodore T. Jones of State Supreme Court in Brooklyn has ordered Toussaint to appear in court on Thursday at 11 a.m., declaring that Toussaint might just be sentenced to jail. Or fine union officials in addition to the existing $1 million per day fines. Bloomberg, however, countered that making Toussaint a martyr would hardly settle the strike amiably or quickly: "I would urge the judge not to put them in a jail and to raise the fines." Governor Pataki apparently woke up from hibernation today, declaring from his Albany redoubt: "I have one message for them - there aren't going to be any talks while you are walking."
Finally, people have good reason to wonder about Christmas shopping. Procrastinators are in trouble, although if you hate crowded stores, you are in luck. The strike is pure gloom and doom for retailers, not to mention restaurants and theaters. And don't think shopping on the Internet will help; the post office, FedEx, UPS and so on are obviously having difficulties delivering. Of course, here in the world capital of luxury and foot messengers, the Wall Street Journal reports that "Bergdorf Goodman store instituted free delivery for its customers, by messenger service in New York and by FedEx to areas outside of the metro area." Everything has its price in the big city, something every taxi and livery cab rider knows today.
Stay tuned.
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Posted on 12/21/2005
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December 20, 2005
The public advocate, Betsy Gotbaum, actually found something to do. The Village Voice's Sarah Ferguson snapped this photo of her handing out hot chocolate to bikers and pedestrians entering Manhattan via the Brooklyn Bridge. One wonders how she got to work today.
The New York Times had a nice candid shot of Russell Flinchum walking to work—in the middle of Fifth Avenue. He said he was doing it "because I've always wanted to and no one's going to stop me." Yes Russell, there is a Santa Claus.
TWU workers in East Harlem were quoted by the Village Voice ("You aren't supposed to idle buses like that!") regarding "dozens of buses across the street that supervisors had turned on to keep the diesel engines from freezing up." Makes you wonder: How do you restart the subway in the city that never sleeps after it's been shut down? Someone has to unlock the gates, the token booths, start up the trains (which hopefully aren't frozen), etc. etc.
Chaos unfortunately brings out the worst in all of us. One fellow in Sunset Park had a rather vile Craigslist post in which he wrote: "Chinese commuter vans....Do you think those Chinese dollar vans on 8th Avenue would ever pick up a white person? I'm serious." (For the record, the answer is of course yes.)
The Politicker had some choice comments pulled from the TWU's website, such as this colorful observation: "The TWU is a bunch of communist douche bags that's ruining Christmas for everyone."
We suspect many of you sat home today watching DOT's traffic webcams or doing Newsday's Sudoku puzzle or catching up on the Post's latest Page Six, featuring juicy tidbits about Tom Cruise's medical guru, who's been investigated by the LAPD. The MTA isn't the only big entity with big property woes; both Tom Cruise and Michael Jackson .... ah, but we digress.
Stories abounded of people making hundreds of dollars driving passengers around Manhattan today. In fact, any old car and a cellphone created a rideshare empire of your very own. Good thing the NYS attorney general finally got around to fining gas stations for price gouging after Hurricane Katrina. Of course, since NYC OEM's plan bans commercial vehicles in Manhattan below 96th Street from 5 am to 11 am, better hope the gas stations don't run out of gas.
And Angel Ortiz and Charles Craft sum up the mood among strikers. “Everybody treats us like crap all the time. We’re tired of being treated like we’re the garbage of the city,” Ortiz told the Daily News. Craft reminds us of the on-the-job perils: "You’ve got to deal with the rats. Human feces, urine. You’ve got the third rail,” said Craft, 47, an MTA employee for 18 years. He said some bosses treat his colleagues “like animals.” Some good points: most of us do not deal with these things at our non-unionized jobs.
Finally, for some refreshing perspective, Martin P. of Brooklyn reminds us via 1010 WINS: "There are people in worse conditions, other places in the world. KATRINA, TSUNAMI. Thank God, AND GET A GRIP." Indeed, the photos of Americans living in tent cities in Mississippi as well as Pakistanis nearly freezing to death in remote Himalayan villages remind us that our transit woes pale in comparison to the continued suffering of others.
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Posted on 12/20/2005
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December 15, 2005
In keeping with our totally irreverent outlook on getting around cheap in ways the competition hasn't thought of, we present some clever tips on surviving a transit strike:
• barter hard with any taxi driver; these guys have no clue how the stupid zone fare system is supposed to work anyhow. Act like you are in Washington: yell a lot, demand to pay less, then refuse to get out when the cabbie pretends to be angry or asks for more money. Remember, you are method acting, so don't take it too seriously!
• move your meetings to the Grand Central food court or Oyster Bar. Unfortunately, Penn Station and the Port Authority don't have as glamorous food options. But you could hang around the Main Post Office and answer kids' letters sent to Operation Santa.
• get a Chinese commuter van from Canal Street to Flushing; it's probably the cheapest ride in town. Better yet, get the Fung Wah bus on Canal Street to Boston and escape for the weekend.
• forget river crossing lane reversals; just walk in traffic alongside all those honking cars. You'll get there faster.
• buy a Segway at Home Depot, use to cross Brooklyn Bridge. Hey, you can always return it after Christmas. Rollerblading will be tough in this weather, but biking might work, assuming you can weave around the scores of wild-eyed drivers.
• wear boots. You will need them. Also consider bringing a sleeping bag; who knows where you might wind up?
• appoint a leader on your NJ commuter bus to collect tens and twenties from the other passengers. Then your driver will make any additional stops upon request, and if questioned by a dispatcher claim to be stuck in traffic near the Port Authority.
• stay home, especially if you are actually sick. If you've already been coughing on passengers in the subway all week, you've done enough for your fellow commuters.
• pretend you are in Paris or London, where transit strikes have been more frequent. A baguette can be useful for flagging down any vehicle that has an empty seat, for threatening someone else who wants to grab that seat you are running for, or for eating if you are unable to get a seat in any vehicle and are stuck walking in wet muck.
• rent a minivan at Hertz or Avis Upstate and charge $20 per passenger upon entry. You could make hundreds of dollars really fast, as your passengers will bolt once they find out how slow you go. Apologize frequently, saying it's not your fault.
• take your laptop to the nearest Starbucks and telecommute. Stay all day. Purchase a cup of coffee every hour, if only to compensate the store for all the electricity you are sucking out of their outlets. Scream at anybody who annoys you, explaining how inconvenienced you are and demand to know why there is no worker solidarity in the 21st century.
• hire a schoolkid to carry your stuff. All those kids who run around with shovels on snow days hoping to earn ten bucks will be hanging around with nothing to do. Why not hire one to carry that huge suitcase full of junk you normally schlep from the LIRR to the IRT to your office? Make sure the kid runs over lots of tired walkers' feet, just to keep in tune with your usual program. Suggested rate: $1 per 5 blocks, plus tip or candy cane.
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Posted on 12/15/2005
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