Power Problems? Let Us Know!

What a cute brochure from Con Edison! Too bad the reality of power failures in the naked city happens to be so much more ugly than mama and papa pushing baby in the Bugaboo down Main Street with doggie while the sun shines. In fact, Con Ed is under tremendous regulatory pressure—especially now that regulatory powers do exist thanks to having Governor Eliot Spitzer in office—due to its sordid failures during last year's blackout.

Although New York urgently needs additional power plants, endless squabbling as well as NIMBYism makes placing new generators and sooty plants a big problem in New York City. But let's read on through our glossy brochure, shall we? The opening page lets us know that "If you have power problems, please contact us right away." Which of course you should do from your cellphone as your home phone (if you still have one) won't be operational, unless you keep an old-school corded phone requiring no electricity plugged in somewhere. Maybe that phone is tucked away in an overstuffed closet; forget about finding that in a blackout, because it likely will take you a few minutes in the darkness to find those candles you squirreled away or your mini-mag light.

To be fair, Con Ed wants you to know they are "committed to providing the reliable service you expect"—that's why so many of their trucks feature the thumbs-up and mugs of happy workers telling you they are ON IT. I see a lot of these workers on it every day wandering around Manhattan, and there sure is a lot of down time when you are on it. Down time to read the New York Post (fortunately only a quarter again after an aborted run as a 50 Cent rag), down time to eat a tuna sandwich or slice of pizza, down time especially to keep the motors of those polluting trucks chugging away. Ever talk to these guys? Most of them have very colorful language regarding their employer, though the Verizon guys generally use more four-letter words per sentence.

Speaking of polluting motors chugging away, did you hear Mayor Bloomberg is actually providing critical leadership in the global warming sphere? That he convened a major conference of mayors from big cities around the world, attended by President Clinton? That Rush Limbaugh thinks he was set up last night into finally meeting his own bugaboo?

Anyhow, back to Con Ed, which wants you to urgently call 800-75-CONED in case of blackout. The lines will be busy, but you can keep calling. Remember those residents of Queens who complained they phoned over and over, to no avail? That's the sort of situation you'll encounter. They are additionally "ready for your call or Web site report 24 hours a day, seven days a week." Just you try it. I've tried repeatedly to submit my gas meter reading via their website, and found it never works, even after 13 months (unlucky number) of trying. You could also try their automated line, but that hasn't worked for me either.

By the way, Con Ed wants you to know "If you see a smoking manhole or a manhole fire, you should call 911." That oughta do the trick.

Tags:   bill clinton, con edison, power failure, rush limbaugh

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Posted on 5/17/2007 ( Permanent Link )
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