As Americans grow fatter and fatter, clog up their arteries with transfat byproducts and gorge into oblivion, we just can’t seem to get enough red meat. Moo. Moo Moo Moo.

A few years ago, or so it seems to this sleepy brain, Fish was all the rage. Remember those diet gurus saying “Fish three times a week?”. I do. And do it – eat fish at least three times a week. But part of me longs for those days of the hecatomb of grilling meat, the aroma of fat sizzling in the flame, the succulent and primal flavor of flesh perfectly grilled.

I am not alone. The plethora of openings celebrating Meat has been impressive.

Let’s start with burgers: In the not-so-distant past, we were treated to the arrival of Pop and DuMont, masterpieces added to the burgerscape (for a list click on “burger” in tags http://www.nyc.com/tag/burger.aspx?tab=all ). Now there is Zip. The name portends an element of speed, a Zippo lighter, a speakeasy (as in “zip it, bud”). The very thought that New Yorkers are STILL looking for the Valhalla of Burgers is not surprising. Aside from the fact that In-N-Out has yet to make an East Coast appearance, there is Mass Migration to think about.

Not all city dwellers were birthed here. Plenty came into being elsewhere on the continental map. Some of us long for a prime burger cooked on a mesquite grill, brushed with Worcestershire sauce and a kiss of cayenne, then served on a hot bun with spicy mustard, finely shredded Iceberg lettuce and sweet onion (and I mean FINE) and a thin layer of sliced dill pickles. If cheese must be added, the burger has to be on the grill and the cheese has to melt.

But, so often in NYC, we get ground beef cooked a greasy grill, served with a unwieldy leaf of bitter Romaine lettuce, slices of pink tomatoes and the crappiest cheese around. That’s why Pop and DuMont and now Zip are so popular. They offer better meat and a little more creativity. Still, I miss the mesquite and the shredded lettuce & onions. On the other hand, the array of cheese and buns and burger-additives like sun dried tomato compote keep me interested.

Next, there is Steak. No longer the province of cigar-smoking CEOs, the Steak is making a big comeback as Americans cast caution to wind and give the finger to the mad cows out there. Like mushrooms over the septic tank, steakhouses are sprouting all over town – and not just in the Meatpacking District. The Steakscape has gone hip and upscale – Strip House, Craftsteak, BLT, Capitale Grille to name a few. Many more are slated to open in the coming months. Moo Moo Mooooo..

So, the recent opening around town have begun to tilt to the meat-end of the scale. The height of Summer is a strange time to have an opening. The usual glitter and glam are summering on the island or the Finger Lakes, or maybe Block Island. They won’t be back until the school uniforms begin to clog the subways again. But to keep things lively, the visiting Babettes makes the most of it. They show up at openings hoping to glimpse someone famous and to display with their shopping bags; they come to lunch at a terrace and think wistfully how they must return to Terre Haute and Lawrence and Blue Eye. They don’t come to enjoy the city as much as they come to be seen in it, and they don’t come to enjoy the food as much as they do the opportunity to say they were here and there.

Recently, a pair of Babettes had wandered into Payard’s new place in Chinatown (oddly called InTent

)– a location still mysterious on several levels – and were giddy with excitement over the newness. They talked about how they would talk about it, but they talked not about the food or the venue.

I much prefer the openings later in the year, when the usual crowds are back from their tanning season and gearing up for the holidays. And while one Babette might be very much like another, those in town temporarily just don’t seem to get it.

Two Babettes explore the menu at an upscale eatery. The bigger one has her little blue Tiffany's bag on the table in plain sight.  Her pinky finger rests against it as she peruses the menu. The small one couldn't get enough of the Armani Exchange logos. I am sure she has it tatooed on her _______  (fill in the blank).