Blog
October 25, 2006
NEWS ITEM OF THE DAY:
Evidently, in a rare concession to widespread criticism and the obstinate forces of reality, George W. Bush has decided to stop using the phrase “stay the course.” Of course, that doesn’t mean he plans on changing the course in any way. It’s just that he’s decided not to stay the course with the phrase “stay the course.” That, it appears, is the only way in which he is deviating from the course.
Even by the lofty standards of this administration, that’s a subtle and rhetorically fascinating modification. But I wonder: Does this leave him open to charges of flip-flopping. I thought you said we had to stay the course. And now we’re merely “not going to change anything? “ Sounds like flip-flopping to me?!?!
CONCEPT OF THE DAY:
Authenticitude. I was just at a presentation on trends in youth culture in which is was reported that teens today aren’t interested in authenticity so much as the attitude of authenticity. Not the real. But the feel of real. In this mindset, the new and fake beats out the old and original every time. As, presumably, the enhanced reality on reality TV beats out the tedium of actual reality. While the reactionary fuddy dud within my mind might say they are just shallow, fraudulent habituees of the Simulacrum, the French theorist within my mind would applaud them for being liberated from the illusion of “originality.” (At the moment, the old fuddy dud is speaking louder and more clearly than the Gallic post-structuralist. In fact, he is conducting a fillibuster.). All sort of fascinating. And disturbing. But, in any case, like Colbert’s term of the decade “Truthiness”—it’s a great and useful addition to the cultural critical lexicon. Authenticitude. Feel it. Love it. Be it!
ABSURD ANECDOTE OF THE DAY:
My father, who is almost 80, is severely ambulatorily challenged but insists on continuing to drive. The other day, he told me with great excitement, that he got a new car. "Teddy, it's a honey. It's got 320 horse power and can go from 0 to 60 in 5.5 seconds!" I'm like, "Dad, you mean 0 to the Afterlife in 5.5 seconds" Great, I'm thinking. This is great news. A near octogenarian who everyone knows has no business being on the road now has a couple of hundred extra horse power at his disposal. In the ancient word of my people. "Oy."
Torn between the forces of civic responsibility and filial loyalty, I will take this opportunity to alert all the good people of Westport Connecticut to this local peril.
NOTE TO MY FATHER OF THE DAY:
Dad, in case you're reading this, you know I love you. But hey, truth is truth. And absurd is absurd. And menace to society is menace to society.
LITERARY NOTES OF THE DAY:
Read Laughter in the Dark--a book of Nabokov's I'd never read before. Nice, but it sort of felt like Lolita Light. Or, as the marketing manglers of the mother-tongue would have it: Lolita-Lite. But still enjoyable. I hadn't realized this sexual preoccupation with the inappropriately young was an enduring theme in his work. And I'm sure it had some basis within his own psyche. In fact, when I was talking about this with a friend, he suggested that perhaps Nabokov's famous fascination with butterflies was really just a cover for his deeper fascination with caterpillars. :)
Also read The Debt to Pleasure by John Lanchester--current editor of the London Review of Books and former food critic for the London Observer. Really enjoyable. The narrator is a hyper-refined, anglo-epicurean, uber-effete lunatic reminscent in some respects of Nabokov's Humbert Humbert. Organized loosely around a collection of exquisitely described seasonal menus, the book is superbly written, impressively researched and laugh aloud funny. But be warned: It's a kind of gastronomic porn and, if you wish to keep your copy of the book in presentable condition, you are advised to wear a drool cup before beginning to read.
ALIENATION QUANDARY OF THE DAY:
I don’t know which I’m more alienated by: The tediously pretentious play about Sylvia Plath that I saw or the colleagues who don’t know who Sylvia Plath was?
NEW TRUISM OF THE DAY:
The recent injury to Orlando El Duque Hernandez suggest a modification to a recent cultural truism:
While 40 may be the new 30, 40 without steroids is the new 50.
IRAQ GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY:
To the best of my knowledge, there are no 80 year old walker-dependent men tooling around in 320 horse power German coupes on the streets of Tikrit. And there is not yet a teen ethos of authenticitude.
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October 22, 2006
FACTOID OF THE DAY:
It is estimated that 600,000 Iraqis have died in our war for their freedom. Yes, died in OUR war for THEIR freedom. 600,000. That's over 2% of the population. Which is as if 6 million Americans were killed . You have to ask yourself: Are there any circumstances under which we would find that kind of a loss acceptable or justifiable? Any?
Just take a moment to really think about that.
It is a reminder of this administration's deadly combination of blind faith, colossal arrogance and willful ignorance. That these criminals are still able to sleep at night is as mystifying to me as the continuing celebrity of Howie Mandel.
MEDIA COMMENT OF THE DAY:
Republicans--in sheer desperation--are running ads that show Bin Laden promising to have bigger and more devastating attacks and reminding people "This is what's on the line. This is no time to cut and run. Vote Republican." The irony of course is that ads showing Osama Bin Laden could much more effectively (and credibly) be used by the Democratic party. They could talk about how by even American intelligence estimates, the Iraq War has sent anti-American sentiment and Al Qaeda jihadist recruitment numbers sky rocketing. And how a vote for continuing the policies of this administration is, in essence, a vote for Osama Bin Laden. As I think I suggested earlier, it could end with a shot of Bin Laden wearing a Vote Republican button on his caftan. I wish I were a little more competent with Photoshop and iMovie so I could work up a prototype for all of your amusement (and, no doubt, for the Democratic Party's glory and gain!). And James Carville and Bob Schram: In case you're reading this: I'm just kidding about that idea, guys. Let's not go out there and blow it at the 11th hour.
PHENOMENON IN NEED OF NAME OF THE DAY:
When you're going into the subway and your card swipe doesn't work and your delicate parts get crushed against the locked turnstile. Winner gets a free swipe on my Metro Card.
OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
Aaron Sorkin is a Schmaltz-a-holic. But in a delightful way. His television world is like porn for smart, nice people. Every honorable act is rewarded with deep respect and every tender heart with the balm of true love.
LETTER OF THE DAY:
Pat Tillman --an NFL star player--bravely and honorably heeded the call to fight the people who attacked us on 9/11--and abandoned his ridiculously lucrative NFL career in order to help in what he felt to be an urgent and honorable effort. Tillman, you may know, ended up being killed in what turned out to have been a tragic friendly-fire incident but was initially reported as a heroic war casualty. (A representative instance of the government's absolute commitment to replacing inconvenient truths with ennobling fictions.) It took a resolute and relentless investigation on the part of the family for the government to finally acknowledge its cover-up and explain the true, horrible circumstances of Pat Tillman's death. Upon the revelation of the true cause of death--about 9 months after the initial, fictionalized account--Pat Tillman's father excoriated the government for its mendacity and memorably said that they didn't want to acknowledge the ugly truth that they'd "blown up their poster boy."
Pat Tillman's brother, Kevin, also volunteered to fight in Afghanistan and Iraq. Yesterday, he finally broke his silence and spoke out on the death of his brother and the folly of the Iraq War. I have quoted this letter in its entirety below because it is sickeningly good. That is, good in a way that truly makes you sick. It was particularly compelling for me because it was not just another indictment of the Iraq War and the administration's policies from the perspective of one who (like myself and most of my friends) has been highly critical of both from the outset, but rather of someone brave and trusting who risked everything in order to do what he felt was the right thing and ended up feeling terribly wronged. It is a powerful reminder of all the brave and honorable impulses that were exploited and betrayed by a cowardly and dishonorable administration. And unlike your basic lefty rant, it is spoken from a position of genuine moral and experiential authority. So many honorable actions, impulses and lives wasted.
((BTW: Also thought about the administration's exploitation, hijacking and betrayal of honorable impulses when I read a long profile of Christopher Hitchens in last week's New Yorker. More on that, perhaps, some other time.)
Anyhow, without any further ado, a letter from Kevin Tillman on the occasion of his dead brother's birthday:
http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/200601019_after_pats_birthday
After Pat’s Birthday
Courtesy the Tillman Family
Pat Tillman (left) and his brother Kevin stand in front of a Chinook helicopter in Saudi Arabia before their tour of duty as Army Rangers in Iraq in 2003.
By Kevin Tillman
Editor’s note: Kevin Tillman joined the Army with his brother Pat in 2002, and they served together in Iraq and Afghanistan. Pat was killed in Afghanistan on April 22, 2004. Kevin, who was discharged in 2005, has written a powerful, must-read document.
It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we got out.
Much has happened since we handed over our voice:
Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can’t be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.
Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.
Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them. Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few “bad apples” in the military.
Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.
Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.
Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.
Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started.
Somehow faking character, virtue and strength is tolerated.
Somehow profiting from tragedy and horror is tolerated.
Somehow the death of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people is tolerated.
Somehow subversion of the Bill of Rights and The Constitution is tolerated.
Somehow suspension of Habeas Corpus is supposed to keep this country safe.
Somehow torture is tolerated.
Somehow lying is tolerated.
Somehow reason is being discarded for faith, dogma, and nonsense.
Somehow American leadership managed to create a more dangerous world.
Somehow a narrative is more important than reality.
Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.
Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.
Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.
Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.
Somehow this is tolerated.
Somehow nobody is accountable for this.
In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don’t be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that “somehow” was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.
Luckily this country is still a democracy. People still have a voice. People still can take action. It can start after Pat’s birthday.
Brother and Friend of Pat Tillman,
Kevin Tillman
ANTICIPATED DARKLY COMEDIC RHETORICAL MANEUVER OF THE DAY:
That the Bush administration--shameless to its hollow core--having lied about the case for war in Iraq, having lied about the circumstances of this truly heroic volunteer's horrible death--will have the sheer, unmitigated audacity (bet you thought I was going to say gall!), not to respond to the content of the letter, but rather to question its timing. I can picture Administration Spokesanus Tony Snow saying, " We have nothing to say about the man's opinions--as everyone is entitled to his or her opinion--we just question the timing of this letter--and just think it is unfortunate--and sort of dishonors the memory of his brother--who died tragically and heroically--to use his death in such a politically motivated way. As the President says the proper way to honor the heroically fallen is to stay the course in the cause they died for."
I started writing this up as a joke but now realize it's ACTUALLY plausible that they would do something like this. Too many absurd ironies and hypocrisies embedded in there to bother to try to make explicit. I have to move on cause...my... brain...is...about...to...explode,
SUGGESTED PRE- ELECTION DAY BUMPER STICKER OF THE DAY:
Support our troops. Vote Democratic.
FOLLOW-UP OF THE DAY:
Remember the "Chevy" commercial with all the images of Katrina and Ground Zero that I wrote about in my last posting? Well, I have been truly shocked to learn that while I had been reading it as a piece of shameless corporate/conservative propaganda, it has actually been reviled by many people on the right as liberal garbage. Fascinating. Evidently--and I gathered this from reading the opinion postings on some websites--lots of red-blooded, red-state Chevy-driving Americans are incensed at the intrusion of unpleasant, controversial imagery into the American consumer tapestry and have claimed that they will stop buying Chevy trucks in protest of this betrayal. It is absolutely fascinating to me that where I was offended by the way that these images were used, they were offended by the FACT that they were used.
Indeed, the very inclusion of disturbing realities in the commercial triggered accusations of liberal, lefty bias--even though these images were clearly being subsumed under the broader feel good we're-all-in-it-together-let's-stay-the-course sentiment. It reminded me of nothing so much as the administration's refusal to publicly acknowledge the war dead or to allow the reproduction of images of their coffins. Evidently in many Republican psyches, acknowledgement of difficulty is already defeat. Denial is operative at a level most of us can't even fathom. The people who are offended by these ads (not in the way that "godless" liberal armchair critics like myself are offended by them) cannot tolerate the messiness and conflict and imperfection and double-sidedness of things that most Democrats take for granted. Are these the kind of people --like my former boss who, incidently, wrote the "Morning in America" ads for Ronald Reagan--who cannot deal with loss or death and so instantly replace a long beloved family dog with a lookalike from his species with the exact same name (Fetch, Doppelganger, fetch, fetch. Good Doppelganger.) the day after he dies? I think it is a fascinating window into the psyche of certain parts of the red state, chevy-driving electorate--a glimpe into the powerful alliance of denial and belief.
AFTERTHOUGHT OF THE DAY:
Maybe I should have had the guy name his dog Clonie instead of Doppelganger. "Stay, Clonie. Good Clonie. Now sit. Good Clonie! Good boy."
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS OF THE DAY:
In the last week, I have seen both the Lilliputian Paul Simon and the diminutive Dustin Hoffman within 2 blocks of my apartment. At 5'8 1/2" (and note how only the short and the young insist on the half unit of measure), I am suddenly feeling like the giant Jew of my neighborhood!
ANECDOTE OF THE DAY:
A bible-toting, gospel-quoting apocalyptician on my subway car is invoking the imminent eschaton as a compelling reason to repent and accept the divinity of Jesus Christ--or face the prospect of burning in hell for eternity. A glib, nattily attired young fellow with a British accent says to his lady friend--in an obvious dual attempt to charm her and to register his unease with the evangelical oratory--"My goodness, I don't think I could speak that long on ANY topic!" As is often the case, I am equally alienated from the two options before me.
Which suggests an idea of the day: A new theme for the blog: I don't know which I'm alienated by more _________ or _________ (its dialectical opposite.) Hmm. I'll have to think about this as a regular feature.
IRAQ GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY:
Because electricity is intermittent at best throughout the country and reality is fairly constant, the population has not yet become fully addicted to reality TV shows.
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Posted on 10/22/2006
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October 16, 2006
MEDIA ANALYSIS OF THE DAY:
As I watch the National League Playoffs the other night, two commericals strike me. Granted, I only see fragments of both. And, as I am watching in a loud bar, I cannot hear either. But something in the juxtaposition of the two spots strikes me as a singularly compelling portrait of present America. (The contradictions and dynamics of this historical aysmmetric moment. Advertising as asysmmetrical warfare on the psyche.) The first commercial, I really don't see much of. I only see the end logo with the tagline "Budweiser. This is beer." The consummate emptiness of the tagline is striking--even by contempory advertising standards. It's not even tautology. It's just the most rudimentary declaration. "This is beer." Either this is remedial education for a culture whose association between word and image has become tenuous at best. Or it's just a particularly transparent instance of a tagline saying "We have nothing to say." Either way, I applaud it in its eloquent poverty and take it to be somehow representative of where we are and who we've become.
The other commercial, which I see substantially more of, is much more jarring. It is a montage of American iconic feel-good images (Hula hoops, Summer beach scenes, Neil Armstrong's Moonwalk, Muhammad Ali beating Sonny Liston, Rosa Parks, Apple pies, etc.) interspersed with images of the phantom light towers at Ground Zero and the horrible aftermath of Katrina. Out of context, one might think it was a subversive political avante garde film (A la Kenneth Anger or something); an attempt to subvert or deconstruct the happy consumerist myths of our culture with the grim truths that they conceal. But, instead, the sequence of images ends with the claim: "This is Our Country. This is Our Truck. Chevy."
The attempt to fuse the triumphant and the traumatic into one seamless tapestry of American-ness is certainly striking--if somewhat unreadable. Is this a Whitman-esque affirmation of broad cultural unity? This is our country. This is our joy. This is our pain. This is our blood. This is our struggle. This is our adversity. This is our triumph? This appears to be the strategic intent. But there is something awfully troubling about such politically and emotionally charged images of recent tragedy (and, arguably, of political failure) being appropriated for explicitly commercial ends. (This is our truck.) But perhaps THAT is the statement. THAT is the critical distinguishing feature (and, of course, decisive contradicition) in this portrait of a nation. Yes, the ad is saying: America is struggle. America is joy. America is triumphing over adversity. America is agreeing to disagree. But in the end, America is--uniquely and irreduceably--pushing product. This is our country. This is our truck. Please buy it.
The relationship between politics, history and branding is fascinating. As a friend aptly observed "It seems anything can become a branding element as long as it's emptied of political content." And it appears that emptying can happen almost instantly. Indeed, what is striking isn't just that the commerical takes all of these very recent and very raw images of trauma and tries to braid them into a tapestry of feel-good, we're all in it togetherness --but it chooses precisely images of this administrations's great failures and repeddles them as great iconic moments. It is a brilliant Rovean propaganda technique--brought to you by Chevy. Indeed the piece of communication could readily run as a Republican propaganda ad by swapping out the tagline and logo at the end. In fact, it is already essentially functioning as a Republican propaganda ad, paid for and sponsored by Chevy.
In effect, there is no more truth or accountability in the culture. There is only iconography and branding. Eveything has equal value within the consumer imaginary matrix. As another friend remarked upon seeing this rivettingly bold and troubling commercial, "My God: People who actually care about truth and reality in this country really have the deck stacked against them."
Anyhow, something in the juxtaposition of these two commercials strikes me as representing something essential about the condition and character of our culture.
I'll probably have more to say about this at some point down the road. Really can't stop marvelling at it.
CURIOUS PHENOMENON OF THE DAY:
Not being able to nail my signature in the clutch--like for example, today, when I had to sign in the box on the back of my new credit card. I’m like the A-Rod of signers. When the pressure is off, I nail my signature all the time. It's always exactly and effortlessly the same. But when I have to lay down the original, reference, big time John Hancock—the one signature against which all the subsequent ones will be measured and judged —I spazz out and scribble something that just doesn’t look like my signature. And now I’m stuck with it. And no one's going to think it's my card.
It's funny. I guess it's that I'm suddenly self conscious of something I'm never usually conscious of. I suddenly feel the strange unnatural pressure to perfectly imitate myself. I feel a weird performance anxiety--like I am a fraudulent forger of my own identity. My arm suddenly feels different. Like it belongs to someone else.
COGNITIVE DISSONANCE OF THE DAY:
The words say "Our goal is to make the most of your time" but the actions say "Our goal is to take the most of your time."
OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
Waspy whininess is about the same as Jewish stoicism.
IF I WERE INCLINED TOWARD PARANOIA WHICH OF COURSE I"M NOT THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
I see that organic carrot juice has now been linked to botulism right after organic spinach has been linked to e coli. It feels like it's all part of a campaign by Dow Chemcal or Karl Rove or something to undermine the groundswell support for organic, healthy foods. Chemicals are our friends. Without chemicals, health foods themselves would not be possible.
OUCH IMAGE OF THE DAY:
White House Aide With Ties to Abramoff Resigns
By ANNE E. KORNBLUT 26 minutes ago
Susan B. Ralston has resigned from the White House in the wake of a report that she served as a conduit between Jack Abramoff and Karl Rove.
ORDEAL OF THE DAY:
Listening to my partner at work chuckle to himself incessantly as he IMs women on J-Date from the chair beside me. It's a sound no man should have to hear. He just admitted that he is only laughing at HIS side of the IM chats...and never their contributions. As he gently tries to hook them on the bait of his refined wit and electronically reel them in. Actually, it's not always his wit, he's baiting his electronic hook with--as he's often asking me for humor assistance. It suggests a skit character: The Mischievous Cyrano. Always giving highly dubious amorous counsel.
SKIT IDEA OF THE DAY/STRETCHING OF MATERIAL OF THE DAY:
The Mischeivous Cyrano.
MOTTOS OF THE DAY:
"Go Mets!!" and "You Gado Believe!!"
SPORTS-ETHNIC OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
Shawn Green: The Jew with the biggest ears since Franz Kafka.
VIDEO OF THE DAY: W/SUBTEXT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCVxQ_3Ejkg
Chad:: Hi youtube this is Chad and Steve we’re the co founders of the site…we have exciting news for you..we’ve been acquired by Google.
Read: We are fucking billionaires!! Woo-Hoo!!!!!!
Steve: Yeah, thanks to every one of you guys who have been contributing to youtube the community …we wouldn’t be anywhere close to where we are without the help of this community.
Read: We are fucking billionaires!! Woo-Hoo!!!!!! And we couldn’t have done it without you poor losers with way too much time on your hands who made us billionaires and didn’t get a penny for yourselves!! Of course we're trying to contain our animal glee behind this appearance of sincere gratitude and continued customer commitment, but c'mon. Who are we kidding??!?! We're freaking BILLIONAIRES!!!
Chad: We’re gonna stay committed to developing the best service for you—providing you know developing you know the most innovative service and tools and technologies so you can keep having fun on our site.
Read: Blah blah blah blah…DID WE MENTION WE ARE BILLIOANIRES!!! And you’re not. Woo-hoo!!!
Steve: The most compelling part of this is being able to really concentrate on features and functionality for the community…etc,,,we certainly have been listening to the problems that have been coming in…focusing on the customer service..as well as developing new contesnt. we’re definitely keen on organizing all our efforts and energies on building out the community and resolving these problems you guys have been having…
Read: The most compelling part of this is being able to really concentrate on our yachts in the Carribean and our caviar and our harem of Slavic and Russian courtesans and assorted other women who are WAY hotter than we have any right to be near...let alone be on top of...he he….Woo-hoo!!! And we owe it all to you wonderful losers out there!
Chad: This is great. Two kings have gotten together and we’re going to be able improve the service and to build even more innovative features for you.
Read: We’re kings!! Billionaire Kings!! And you ain’t even serfs!! Woo-hoo!!!!! Bring on the ladies!!
Extended giddy "I-can't-believe-I-just-won-the-lottery" laughter.
Chad: Two kings have gotten gotten together and we’re gonna have it our way.
Read: Yeah, we’re having it our way all right, suckers!!!!! Woo-hoo!!!
SPECTACLE OF THE DAY: (ACTUALLY OF LAST WEEK)
Thousands of cop cars and ambulances jammed all the way up 3rd Avenue in response to the small plane crashing into the building on E. 72nd St. I wonder how many people weren't attended to because the EMS vehicles that would have been allotted to them were stuck in the traffic jam resulting from this huge if quite understandable over-reaction. . A small plane crashed into an upper east side building killing the pilot, three residents and 82 other New Yorkers who had acute medical needs that were not attended to because the ambulances were otherwise disposed.
Actually, as I watched the coverage for a few moments and looked out my office window at the sea of traffic, I had three thoughts. 1) It's been a long time since I heard the talking heads on CNN and the network news evince that kind of barely suppressed ratings-happy glee. That solemn, hushed shadenfreude. 2) The whole thing felt like a great terrorist decoy. A way of distracting all resources and attentions while a huge attack happens at the other end of the city. 3) It was sad to see such an outpouring of concern and well-meaning effort--all in vain. Somehow reminiscent of all the doctors waiting outside in their scrubs at St. Vincents Hospital on September 11 and September 12, 2001.
The fact that it ended up being an accident caused by a Yankee pitcher after the Yankees "sad failure" of last week, just added to the surreality of the whole event.
RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:
She was dirty but she cleaned up nice.
IRAQ GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY:
Chevy's "This is Iraq. This is Our Truck" campaign hasn't started running there yet.
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October 09, 2006
POLITICAL REFLECTIONS OF THE DAY:
The stories are just coming out one after another now. The wheels are coming off the bus. Sailor claims American soldiers assassinated Iraqis. Guard tells of repeated beatings of Guantanamo Bay prisioners and boastings thereof. The Woodward book. The Foley Scandal. Pressure on Hastert to resign. Pressure on Rumsfeld to resign. Rove aide resigns due to Abramoff scandal. NATO chief declares Afghanistan now at the tipping point (about to tip back into Taliban Control). Keith Olbermann past the tipping point and making no holds barred no punches pulled attacks on Bush as dishonest, treasonous and un-American on MSNBC every night Etc. While it might seem like the basis for believing in a liberal media conspiracy--it is in fact, merely evidence of how successful the right wing media conspiracy has been to this point. These are not politically motivated stories, saved up for an October surprise. This is just part of the steady stream of damning truths that have there all along but have not been reported by a media cowed----for fear of being perceived as un-American-- into Vichy like complicity by the rhetoric of a bully government.
Clearly there has been some kind of a sea change, a shift in the zeitgeist--that has made such revelations more admissable and has emboldened hitherto reluctant critical voices. There has been some much needed doubt cast on the legitimacy of the administration's claims and rhetorical tactics. And certainly this is a good thing.
My only fear is that the Democrats will allow this avalanche of bad news (truthful revelation) to justify continued passivity. I hope they don't--in their infinite inclination towards risk-aversion-- just stand back and hope the Republican house of cards will collapse under the weight of its own corruption. They must take the offensive. Not in a tit-for-tat rearview mirror citing of the record. But more boldly. More categorically. Reshape the discourse in this country so they are not always wrestling on the rhetorical mats with one arm tied behind their back. How? Attack the entire Republican agenda. Frame the issue in terms much much larger than the war in Iraq alone. Talk about how the country has been hijacked for the last 5 years. How the invention of "the war on terror" has been exploited in ways that make us less rather than more safe. That we were attacked by a small marginalized group of extremists on 9/11 who enjoyed no widespread support in the Islamic world. And rather than targetting them relentlessly and intelligently, we have played into their hands in ways that exceed their wildest dreams. Much as the republicans have skewed the discourse to make the reasonable centrist seem like a radical left winger, so too their actions around the world have pushed the moderate Muslim into being a terrorist sympathizer. Arguably there are only two groups this radical cabal of corporate cronies has benefitted: The extremely wealthy in America. And Islamic extremist terrorists around the world.
IDEA FOR A POLITCAL AD OF THE DAY:
It should show Osama Bin Laden speaking in Arabic and smiling beatifically with subtitles that say "Please vote for The Party of George Bush. He has been our greatest ally and supporter over these last few years." Or we see him wearing a I heart Dubya pin. Ok, ok. Bad idea. With political advisors like me, maybe it's better to do nothing and let the Republican house of cards fall under the weight of its own corruption.
ONION-ESQUE (SHALLOT-LIKE) HEADLINE OF THE DAY:
Struck by how the stock market didn't even seem to care that North Korea just detonated a Nuclear Bomb. I imagine a headline:
"World Ends. Dow up 25 points in heavy trading."
MUSIC NOTE OF THE DAY:
Went to a Loser's Lounge tribute to the Talking Heads at Joe's Pub this weekend. Just reminded of what a gloriously quirky, smart, moving, expansive, joyful legacy that band has left us.
CURRENCY ECONOMIC INDICATOR OF THE DAY:
Attn: Warren Buffet.
If anything says "Buy euros, sell dollars" it is this little bit of anecdotal evidence reported to me from a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend (all of whom shall remain nameless):
Prostitutes in Morocco don't want dollars. They want euros.
SHAMELESSLY BRILLIANT STUNT OF THE DAY:
The conservatives have done all kinds of tactically brilliant and shameless things in thier efforts at Mark Foley pre-election damage control. First, they got him to admit to being an alcoholic. (Strike one against having to be fully accountable for his actions). Then they got him to claim that he was molested as a youth (Strike two against full accountability). Then they got him to pull a McGreevey and come out of the closet as a long-suffering gay American (Strike three against accountability...or at least a strike against the shame associated with whatever limited accountability remains.) These were all sort of fine, predictable, Rovean strategies: Trot out three sacred cows of political correctness and cultural sensitivity and make it appear that anyone who was criticizing Foley was insensitive to alcholics, sexual abuse victims and gays (and we all know how much the Republicans support the homosexual community.) But this is nothing. More impressive damage control and damage deflection efforts included 1) Blaming his actions on the Democrats and their embrace of permissive, sinful culture. 2) Claiming that his actions paled in comparison to those of certain Democrats in the past. And when all else failed 3) Repeatedly identified him as a Democrat from Florida on Fox TV! But not even any of these cynical ploys, ruses and strategems --brought to you it will be noted by the party that came to power under the banner of bringing accountability back into government!--merit the status of Shamelessly Brilliant Stunt of the Day. No, no, no... that lofty distinction goes to the following dazzlingly shameless move...
At the press conference at which Republican party officials were first supposed to answer questions about this emerging scandal, lots of people showed up carrying small children. When asked if they could please take the children out of the room because the content of what was about to be discussed would no doubt be inappopriate for children's ears, the people claimed that no they would not, they were supporters of Mark Foley's and they were there with their children as a show of support. The willingness to cynically use their own children as human shields--as inhibitors of free discourse--in an attempt to inhibit discourse--not only underscores their deep commitment to the truth, to honesty, to the free press and to the well being of children everywhere, but earns them recognition as Shamelessly Brilliant Stunt-men of the Day. Congratulations to them and to their kin.
MEDIA OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
NPR is so politically correct that they don't even discriminate against those with speech defects in hiring people to read the news. They are proud champions of the elocutionarily challenged.
SPORTS NOTE OF THE DAY: A-ROD LOOKS IN THE MIRROR.
Almost feel bad for the guy. Maybe it's just that I'm filled to the brim with generosity of spirit after the Mets' gutty sweep, but today I am going to refrain from kicking dirt on A-Rod's grave or kicking him when he's down or whatever cliche you want to trot out of the dugout. Maybe I'm getting soft, maybe I'm suffering from some strange schadenfreude deficiency (which I'll have to talk to my nutritionist about), but I actually feel bad for him. There is no amount of money that can compensate for that kind of public humiliation. Ok, sure there is...as Reality TV shows like "Survivor" and "America Idol" make abundantly clear every day. But still...it's gotta suck. No one wants to see someone humiliated. No one likes to see someone fail awfully and extravagantly (unless, as my IT guy famously added, it's a good friend.) Anyhow, truth is, for whatever reason, I don't feel like stomping on the fragments of his once delicate (and now shattered) psyche in this, his hour of greatest shame. If there's any positive for A-Rod in this whole debacle it's that it finally got him to break through the denial and say what needed to be said. "I sucked." (See Quote of the Day, below) That was huge. Huge. Unalloyed, unbowdlerized, un-airbrushed acceptance of reality. "I sucked." Those just might be the two most important words he's ever spoken.
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
You kind of get tired of giving the other team credit," Rodriguez said in a somber Yankees clubhouse. "At some point, you just have to look in the mirror and say, 'I sucked."'
Note he didn't look in the mirror and say "we sucked." He looked in the mirror and said "I sucked." Usually when A-Rod looks in the mirror he says other things. Like "Your skin so smooth", "You're good enough, you're strong enough and by god you're smalley enough", "You make me a little bit horny," ""See the pretty girl in that mirror there/Who can that attractive girl be?/Such a pretty face,/Such a pretty dress, /Such a pretty smile,/Such a pretty me!/I'm so pretty. I'm so pretty/I feel pretty and witty and bright!/And I pity/ Any girl who isn't me tonight!."
But today, he finally said the two words that needed to be said. "I sucked" And good for him. Acceptance is the first step in recovery.
IRAQ GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY: (Lots of good news to catch up on!)
No Iraqi soldiers are accused of dragging Iraqi citizens into a hole and shooting them. No, those were American soldiers.
The Vice President of Iraq doesn’t say "Fuck you" to and hang up on people who don’t agree with him.
No player on an Iraqi football team stepped repeatedly on an opposing player's face today.
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Posted on 10/9/2006
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October 02, 2006
QUOTE (OK, RANT) OF THE DAY::
Bush, incensed over the leak of the classified intelligence report on Iraq (the one that concludes that the war has made us less safe rather than more safe), claimed that any such intelligence leak does harm to our national security. Even, evidently, when what has been leaked is a report saying that our policies are doing harm to our national security. So, again: The leak of a report that tells us that our current policies are doing harm to our national security is bad because it does harm to our national security. Yes, once again: The leak of a report that tells us that our current policies are doing harm to our national security is bad because it does harm to our national security. Yes, much better to keep the report hidden and unread or secretly read and dismissed and to continue with the policies that do harm to our national security.
Because the real harm to our national security comes with the release of the news that our actions are doing harm to our national security.
The mind boggles. The blood boils.
Let me off this maddening rhetorical merry go round of staggering arrogance and deadly denial.
Comic relief. Comic relief.
QUIP OF THE DAY:
-The best thing about Ben Affleck marrying Jennifer Gartner after Jennifer Lopez is that he doesn't even have to change the name he screams during sex.
-You mean Ben?
CONDI VERSUS BILL:
Really a referendum on credibility. It's "I did not have sex with that women, not one time" versus "The air at ground zero is safe" and "We have solid proof of weapons of mass destruction." It's lying about a blow job versus lying about a con job on the whole country that led to lots of people getting blown...to smithereens.
Clinton lied about a victimless crime that was really nobody's business. Condi lied and, as they say, people died.
"Nuff said. Good news for Condi is that soon this will blow over and she'll be able to get back to the vital business of shoe shopping.
POLITICAL COMMENT (RANT) OF THE DAY:
Just saw some footage from this Bush press conference. Peevish little petulant brat who’s gone through life with a princely sense of entitlement: "See no one’s allowed to disagree with me. Or tell me I’m wrong. That’s the way it’s always been. Daddy’s always seen to that. Even when I dissed daddy by replacing him with a new daddy. I surround my people see—I surround mySELF with people see –(Excited jab forward and vague smile to indicate pride at having finally found the right syntactic path through the rudimentary subject, verb object obstacle course) who always agree with me. And always tell me I’m right. And I like that. I’ve always liked that. Disagreers are defeatists. See. If you disagree—you’re gonna get defeated.”
Virtually no intelligent person I know can even listen to him anymore without being reduced to clenching his fists and muttering. The discourse is so convoluted and dishonest in an Orwellian way that the intellect can find no perch, no traction. And so sheer apoplectic rage fills the gap that argument would otherwise attempt to fill.
Let’s take a look at his most recent remarks in a press conference on “terror” today.
He lashed out anew at critics "who make a case that, by fighting the terrorists, we're making our people less secure here at home. This argument buys into the enemy's propaganda that the terrorists attack us because we're provoking them."
Nice misinterpretation of the criticism. It was not against taking the offensive to the terrorists. It was about attacking a country completely unrelated to the terrorists (to wit, for the ten thousandth time, Iraq) and by doing so, CREATING new terrorists (by the perceived aggression and injustice of the attack). Notice, little Bush, no one has ever criticized the idea of fighting the war in Afghanistan.
It is almost impossible to tell if he is being tacticly mendacious or truly moronic in these repeated misinterpretations of the criticism. Whether the absolute disconnect between the criticism and the response is the product of sheer blind stupidity or maddeningly brilliant rhetorical strategy.
Anyhow, utterance number two. In defense of his war efforts, Bush said, “When we see a problem, we adjust, we change." Now that's precisely what they DO NOT do. In any respect. “Staying the course” is NOT adjusting and changing. Repeatedly failing to heed the advice of experts and the unequivocal findings of intelligence reports is NOT adjusting and changing. Continuing to repeat the same errors over and over and over and denying you're doing so is NOT adjusting and changing. Perhaps the brilliant rhetorical twist comes in the “When we see a problem” clause of the claim. They never see a problem because they have their ideological blindfold on.
"You see. When we see a problem, we adjust (lean forward, arm jab), we change (lean forward, arm jab, proud almost startled smile at having completed the utterance without tripping over a comma and taking a syntactic tumble. Mommy. Mommy. Look at the nice firm linguistic turd I just made. He He He. Now wipe me. )
“Thing is…” (now a little swagger..after the successful articulation of the preceding sentence) “I said “when we see a problem”…and see, we DON'T see a problem, you see,,,cause the problem is --the only problem is those people who keep seeing a problem."
QUOTE OF THE DAY: (THAT DOES NOT INSPIRE RAGE AND RANTING):
"Space smells like a burned almond cookie."
-Anousheh Ansari. the first femals space tourist.
Well, now we know.
MEDIA COMMENT (RANT) OF THE DAY:
Love (as in hate) the way the press is trying to keep neutral with respect to the revelation that the administration's war has been judged by intelligence experts as deleterious to the well being of our country. The official journalistic position seems to be that it's not clear what the political meaning of this report is. Does it help the Democrats who have been critical of the war in Iraq or does it help the administration who claims that it's proof that now that we've created a dangerous mess, we have to stay the course and put out the fires we've started. Just brilliant. Fair and balanced ad absurdum.
It's interesting that 2 stories damning to the administration (The subversion of the Constitution via the Presidential Signing Statements and the Downing Street Memo) were spoken about in a few editorials (In the Washington Post, The NYT and the Boston Globe I think) but never reported as news by the papers. Either the undermining of the Constitution and the wholesale deception of the American People are not deemed newsworthy or they are not considered to be in the interests of media corporate profits. Or, because of the latter, the former.
The interests of democracy have been imperilled by the fact that news is now--explicitly, undeniably and unapologetically--a profit center.
SKIT PREMISE OF THE DAY:
The guy who keeps thinking that the explicit thing is the euphemism and vice versa.
WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE CONTENTS OF THE E-MAIL I RECEIVED ENTITLED "HOW TO AVOID INVESTING MISTAKES":
Too late.
FACTOID OF THE DAY:
70% of teenagers think they're going to be famous. And they will be. Collectively. For being the single most clueless generation in human history.
Incidently, only 60% of them think they're going to win the lottery.
RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:
He’s got all the behavioral liabilities associated with being a rock star without actually being a rock star.
IRAQ GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY:
There is no evidence that 70% of Iraqi teenagers think they're going to be famous. So they've got that going for them.
COMPOSITIONAL REFLECTION OF THE DAY:
Since this has been a ranty rant of a posting, let's end it in a more affirmative and lyrical mode:
SEASONAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
Ah the day "the memo" goes out. Not the day in early spring. The day in early fall. Not the one that says "take the clothing off." The one that says "put the clothing back on." For some reason I've always found the autumnal version much more erotic. Because the beauty is edged with the austerity of imminent darkness and cold. Privation, mortality heighten the senses. The light is sharp enough to pierce the heart. There is more than lust. There is longing.
Anyhow, today was that day.
But it didn't stop me from ranting.
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Posted on 10/2/2006
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