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1. signing autographs--as on my as yet unwritten masterworks "titles of an autobiography i will never write" and "a definitive history of inconclusiveness."
2. air quoting
3. flossing
4. pinching myself to make sure i'm not just dreaming this wonderful injury,
5. hitchhiking--except in england or one of the former british colonies.
6. giving the thumbs-up sign--as when people ask me if i broke my thumb in kama sutric pursuits and i respond with self-flattering dishonesty.
7. clipping left hand fingernails--nay, talons.
8. snapping my fingers and yelling "garcon."
9. dunking
10. demonstrating the larry craig open palm men's room courtship gesture
11. making the crip sign with my hands while doing the crip walk.
12. shaving beard with some approximation of symmetry.
13. signing checks and confessions.
14. pretty much anything involving scissors.
15. tying shoelaces.
16. buttoning buttons or buttoning anything else.
17. punching.
18. handstands--particularly of the one handed/right-handed variety.
19. all chopstick-related activities
20. a certain heretofore unspecified aspect of one's daily toilettes.
21. pull-ups, push-ups and all other non sit-up components of the standard prison workout.
22. thumb wrestling.
23. twiddling.
24. playing wack-a-mole
25.. using a mouse.
26. using any other small rodent.
27. typiong
overheard exhange of the day:
(overheard in adjacent examination chamber in emergency room.)
-will i be able to drive?
-it's not your middle finger so in ny you can still drive.
heretofore unvoiced thought of the day:
"I have one fist remaining and I would gladly sacrifice it at the altar of your face."
-thought while sitting next to some chubby hubby yuppie who was repeatedly and unapologetically coughing in my face while optically hoovering some inane hollywood fare that was playing on his laptop during a flight back from Chicago.
curious dessert order of the day:
banana cream pie with extra whipped cream and a decaf coffee with splenda.
lfaqs of the day:
which will be the harder: dennis kucinich getting voters to take him seriously or stephen colbert keeping voters from taking him seriously?
what percentage of american males have occasionally mistaken a woman's body for a drum set---attributing to each different fleshy region a corresponding percussive sound (stomach as tom tom, upper thigh as snare, buttock as bass, forehead as cowbell etc).? OK, me neither.
p.s. of the day
oh, one more really hard thing to do with a broken thumb: drum on a woman's body. or so i'd imagine.
concepts of the day:
incidental musics, olfactory maps.
movie comment of the day:
finally saw "venus." a meditation on beauty and mortality--made all the more poignant for the undeniable extra-filmic truth of peter o'toole's aging and decay. overall: a compelling blend of the extremely moving and the slightly creepy. i was particularly moved by the old man's knowing farewells to his loved ones--as i never got a chance to bid a final, knowing adieu (except in dreams...as noted below) to my father.
note from the journal of mourning of the day:
I have long been waiting for my father to make an appearance in my dreams. Last night while on business in Chicago (where my father grew up), it happened. He was there before me, bending down to lower the volume on the stereo and telling me he was tired and was going to go to bed. He was wearing the dark blue pajamas and brown slippers that he always wore at night. I had the awareness within the dream that someone had died and after a little struggle to remember who that someone had been, I suddenly realized that it had been he and that I was being given a chance to see him again to say goodbye. So I told him emphatically, urgently--with a sudden, acute awareness of this retroactive gift of final farewell-- how much it meant to me that we had had this chance to be together one more time and to say goodbye and I could feel my voice breaking and I could see the tears welling up in his eyes and then we said goodnight and i awakened.
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Posted on 10/22/2007
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