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PREVIOUSLY REFERENCED IMAGE OF THE DAY:
This is the Lastings Milledge doll my 10 year old nephew innocently and enthusiastically made in celebration of his favorite Mets player and which--for obvious reasons-- I had to gently dissuade him from bringing to the game. (See the posting of 32 days ago entitled "EMMY'S, METS, RACE...") Oh, actually, I'll just copy and paste the anecdote here for the scroll-aversive:
My brother's son Daniel is a huge Mets fan and (largely for reasons of his name, I suspect) Lastings Milledge is his favorite player. Anyhow out of innocent enthusiasm, Daniel made a do-rag sporting monkey doll with a Lastings Milledge number 44 jersey that he wanted to bring to Shea in honor of his favorite player. Needless to say, I had to have a little avuncular sit down with him--in which I initiated him into the hard realities of racial perceptions and sensitivity. I think the Howard Cossell "That little monkey sure can run" story got the point across. Daniel seemed a bit crushed by the sordid fallen-ness of the adult world, but he understood. We made a brief effort to refashion the skull capped monkey doll into another lighter-skinned player's likeness, but it was too hard to turn the 44 into a 5 for David Wright. And, besides, it just didn't look like David Wright as much as it looked like Lastings Milledge.
RUMOUR OF THE DAY:
So Osama might be dead. Let's say he did in fact die of Typhoid Fever--as reported by French Intelligence. I am counting the moments before the Bush adminstration claims that they invented Typhoid Fever...or that they used it as part of an elaborate biological warfare campaign against the Al Qaeda leader. Actually, if Bin Laden has in fact died, I think it makes the U.S. look bad. Not only couldn't we ever locate him or get to him. But we didn't even have any idea that he had died and, shame of shame, had to rely on--quel affreux!--the French to find out. Say what you will about the French, but this--in addition to their sensible refusal to join our dubious war effort--is another instance of French intelligence proving superior to ours in more ways than one.
But no doubt, Rove will spin it into a brilliant victory in the war on terror.
POLITICAL COMMENT OF THE DAY:
I have been all too willing to attribute many of the failings of this Administration to incompetence rather than malicious intent. But I'm really beginning to suspect that the Bush Administration has a calloused disregard for life. And not just foreign life, but American life as well. We now know that Condi Rice--in flagrant defiance of the evidence and succumbing no doubt to the pressures of Wall Street-- approved the memo claiming the air at Ground Zero was not dangerous. We also know that the government sent troops into an unnecessary war and without the necessary training, planning or protection. And in action upon action (or, as it were, inaction upon inaction), the administration has systematically sold the environment up the river--exposing humanity to the dire consequences of global warming. These kind of things are not readily dismissed as the product of mere incompetence because they all involved the willful disregard of hard evidence and expert counsel. While there is no doubt the terrorist threat is real, this administration has repeatedly shown something like a will to "do us harm."
RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:
He suffered his good fortune with admirable stoicism.
TV REFLECTIONS OF THE DAY:
Watched a show on Nova about Einstein's famous equation relating light, matter and energy. Really enjoyed the dramatic re-enactment of the young Einstein (while still an employee at the Patent office) experiencing his "eureka moment." There's an inherent cheesiness in the attempt to represent any critical moment in the life of the mind and this, I am pleased to say, was no exception. Speaking of enactments of seminal creative moments: I also enjoyed the dramatic representation of the birth of a comedy skit in Aaron Sorkin's new show Studio 60. Again, the full script, hatched whole in a spontaneous paradiddle of inspired collaboration. Speaking of that show, a few more things I loved: a) the fact that, as in West Wing, they are always delivering --with pretenatural self-possession--their perfectly scripted, hiply principled lines. b) they are always doing it while walking and c) how that the West Wing guy now looks like a cross between Malcom Mcdowell and Barry Manilow. Oh, and the closing scene (the "cold open" choral number for their SNL type weekly comedy review) was pretty classic. Better than anything SNL has done in years.
CRITIQUE OF THE DAY:
We all heard or read about Hugo Chavez's speech at the U.N. And we are all aware of how everyone in American politics (blue, red, left, right and center) joined forces to condemn his remarks. I, however, think he wasn't hard enough on Bush. Calling him the Devil isn't strong enough. The image of the Devil is watered down by centuries of exposure as a pop cultural figure. He is a hockey player from New Jersey. He is on hot sauce bottles everywhere. To have more impact--and indeed be more accurate--Chavez should have used a less tired and hackneyed term for ultimate evil. He should have said "Bush is Lucifer" or "Bush is Beelzebub." Something that would allow the obvious truth of the claim to register more powerfully.
OK, ease down Homeland Security guys: Obviously I'm kidding. But it was irresistible as a premise.
My only real observation about U.N. week was that I was blown away by the exceedingly low level of discourse. If this is reflective of the state of the world (and surely it is) it's really one sad ass spinning rock on which we're stuck.
It made the level of discourse in our recent presidential elections (or for that matter the local sandbox) seem positively nuanced and elevated.
RANDOM E-MAIL EXCERPT OF THE DAY:
Was that comment sarcastic? Or genuinely appreciative? Or an attempt to be funny? Or merely another instance of retroactiveive intentionality whereby you have no idea how you intended it until you see how it's been received?
CONCEPT OF THE DAY:
Retroactive intentionality.
META-REVIEW OF THE DAY:/HELLO? MOMENT OF THE DAY:
I guess the Times felt obligated (under the dubious notions of "journalistic objectivity" and "balance") to allow a politically conservative republican-friendly critic named Jennifer Senior to review the recent books by Lewis Lapham and Sidney Blumenthal. She was, as one might expect, highly critical of both of their preaching to the choir publications. Anyhow, I won't run at the mouth about the extremely problematic status of of "balance" and "objectivity" in this discursively skewed semi Orwellian political climate and will simply focus on the fact that she ended the review by chastising these two administration critics for lacking a sense of humor. Sure, she allows, the Right wing pundits are every bit as biased and tiresome, but at least they are funny. Hmm. Funny?? Oh, why, yes of course. Bill "Rim Shot" O'Reilly. Tucker "The Cut-Up" Carlson. Rush "Rib Tickler" Limbaugh! These people are a fucking riot! Jon Stewart? Stephen Colbert? Al Franken? Now THOSE grim humorless ideologues could learn a hell of a lot from the Fox News Funsters. Yup, when I'm really at the end of my rope and looking for the sweet balm of comedy, there's nothing like an Anne Coulter stand up routine or a Hannity and Colmes improv bit to inspire laughter and restore my will to live.
Thank you Jennifer Senior for the reminder.
OUT OF CONTEXT SENTENCE OF THE DAY:
He's going to be so happy. Steel yourself.
NEW CLINICAL CONDITION OF THE DAY:
Experienced after visiting entropic environs such as my apartment:
Post Traumatic Mess Disorder.
WAR ON ERROR THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
Study finds Iraq War has made Islamic terrrorism. No Duh!! Anyone with any sense --which is to say me and pretty much anyone who is not a blind faith true believer neo-con(man) ideologue--could have told you at the start of the war that the venture was destined to fan the fires of Islamic extremism (I had mistyped it extreeeemeism and sort of liked it for the combination of extreme extremism and theism) and make us less rather than more safe. And it galls me that this argument was never made in any clear and consistent way by Kerry in the 2004 elections. Even though the evidence had not yet mounted to absolutely incontrovertible levels, I really think the Democratic candidates should have gone into battle with that obvious and compelling message: That they were the true pro homeland security party. And that they would go about protecting us from the threat of terrorism in ways that were intelligent and effective rather than blindly counterproductive. The Democratic party. Stronger on homeland securitty than the Republicans. Because smarter on homeland security than the Republicans. With a slogan along the lines of Smarter. Stronger. Safer. Take what was perceived to be the Republican strength and, by a rhetorical jujitsu, expose it as their greatest weakness. OK...rant over. .Just so disgusted that all of this was SO SO SO transparently obvious from day 1. But I guess this paves the way for them to take such a position in the upcoming elections and in 2008. But still, it's hard not to have a lingering sense of disgust at the wasted energies, resources, opportunities and, of course, lives.
PYSCHO-SEXUAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
It's easier than ever for the twisted pedophiles to get access to kiddie porn on the web. But it's also easier than ever to lure them out and expose them through "Dateline" style entrapments. I guess to riff on Dickens, it's the best of times and the worst of times to be a twisted perv.
All joking aside, it is one thing I am extremely grateful for...because I could imagine nothing worse than feeling sexual attraction to little kids; to feel condemned to a socially reviled and morally wrong activity. To be exiled from the human community and the possibility of love.
BROADCAST MOMENT OF THE DAY:
An exchange during Monday Night Football between the dumb jock ex-NFL QB Joe Thieisman and the cynical resolutely unathletic commentator Tony Kornheiser:
THEISMAN: (After a replay of a pass intererence call showed no pass interference had taken place) You gotta wonder why was the flag thrown. Did the official not see something?
(Pause. About the same length as the one a few moments ago after he called the Falcons the Saints).
KORNHEISER: That's a very Zen-like question. And I don't think we're in a position to answer it.
T-SHIRT IDEA OF THE DAY:
Bored on the inside.
CONCEPT OF THE DAY #2:
Decoy Looks.
A friend was describing to me how he prevents getting busted by his girlfriend when he starts involunarily tracking some hot woman with his gaze while they're together. He will then start randomly eyeing ugly women. Or guys. So as to disguise the truly illicit libidinous leer.
These are his decoy looks.
Sort of like the real presidential car hidden in the caravan of identical esplanades.
QUESTION OF THE DAY:
OK, I bought a pack of gum with a friend the other day and she asked a great question. Why is the gum maker legally required to write "Not a low calorie food" on the package? Why aren't you required to write "Not a Low Calorie Food" on a tub of butter or a box of Krispie Creme donuts or a quart of Ben and Jerry's Triple Fudge Sundae Suicide ice cream? Where is the cut off line? Where is the point at which confusion or deception is considered possible?
Not a low calorie food. Brilliant.
It's sort of like writing "No carbs" on a cigarette. Or "0 calories" on an atomic bomb.
CARTOON WITHOUT ILLUSTRATION OF THE DAY:
A nuclear bomb being dropped out of a plane with "No Carbs!" written on it.
IRAQ GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY:
There is no indication that anyone in Tikrit was misled by its government about dangerous air quality.
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Posted on 9/26/2006
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