BUSH MAKING FRIENDS WITH BLACK PEOPLE, R.I.P. KING OF HOOTERS, BEST SONG EVER OF THE DAY AND, AS ALWAYS, MORE!

POLITICAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:

After declining invitations to speak to the NAACP for the last 6 years, Bush finally addressed the organization earlier this week and began his speech with the quippy ice-breaker "Bet you're all thinking what took me so long?" No, actually, that's what the folks in New Orleans were thinking. These people are quite aware of what took you so long: Your busy schedule of vigorous Crawford vacations, staged press conferences and NAAWP functions. Oh, and your complete lack of interest in black people not named Condi.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

""See the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it's over"

-Bush caught by microphone talking to Tony Blair while chewing on a buttered roll.
http://graphics.nytimes.com/packages/audio/politics/bush_g8audio.mp3

What's noteworthy to me is not Bush saying "shit" but Bush using the word "irony." Now that, my friends, is something truly shocking and unexpected. A concept and a word I did not think he was familiar with. There we go, underestimating him again!

BEST SONG EVER OF THE DAY:

“Mr. November”, by The National. A raw emotionality, reminscent of Arcade Fire. Such passion and longing and nostalgia. For youth. For love. For the intensest autumn of the heart.

Such poetry in the line “I used to be carried in the arms of cheerleaders.” And the aching desire to hold it all together, under the sign of the mythic self. ”I won’t fuck us over.”, the singer promises—in what one feels is already an acknowledgment of a previous inability to do so and, hence, less a promise than an apology, a loss-haunted effort to make things right. “I’m Mr. November. I’m Mr. November. I won’t fuck us over. “

It’s a striking song because the lyrics are so boastful and conceited like in stereotypical rap, but they are belied by the incredible lyricism and vulnerability of the melody--which make it clear that it is a song about failure and not victory.

When I listen to Mr. November I am falling falling through a perpetual autumn past the trees of my innocence towards the wound of my birth.

OTHER CONTENDERS FOR FUTURE BEST SONG EVER OF THE DAY CONSIDERATION:

“Wild is the Wind” The David Bowie Version, “I Want You” by Elvis Costello, “It’s Fall Again” by Kath Bloom, “Atmosphere” By Joy Division.

ACTUAL E-MAIL EXCHANGE OF THE DAY:

(Actually, it happened about a year ago, but I was reminded of it by the fact that our street was cordoned off again today for some U.N. meeting.)

E-mail Sent:

Just exited my building at the same moment the Bush motorcade passed by on the cordoned off street. The entire force of the state summoned for this ostentatiously imperial display---as the emperor chimp was escorted to an institution he doesn't believe in to read a (phonetically transcribed) speech he did not write. The spectacle of 100 motorcycles and about 75 black SUVS with flashing lights and grim-looking, camo-attired military guys sporting barely concealed sub-atomic rifles (and an obvious eagerness to use them), filled me with such rage and disgust that I had to shout out--in a kind of self-destructive tourretic outburst-- "Nice way to conserve gasoline! Nice Way to conserve gasoline! What would Jesus drive? God Bless America."

E-Mail received:

prank caller. prank caller. i think you must have sent
this email in error. i don't know you, and even if i
did i would not subscribe to your unpatriotic rant. i
love george bush. i wish him no harm. conservation is
a personal virtue, not a basis for an energy policy.
drill the arctic. i want to buy a humvee. evolution is
a jewish plot to undermine jesus. i like football.
amen.

TRIBUTE TO THE POWER OF BARRY MANILOW OF THE DAY:

www.johnhesch.com/2006/07/17/barry-manilow-discourages-park-hooligans/

Barry Manilow. A force so strong it can overcome a swarm of amped-up, trouble-seeking angry young hooligans.

TEDDY VEGAS BRANDED INTERACTIVE FEATURE OF THE DAY::

R.I.P. to the Founder of Hooters, who died on Monday. What, I wonder, is the most fitting memorial tribute?

a) A 21 boob salute.
b) Only black hooter tops will be worn for a week.
c) Patrons' boners will be worn at half mast.
d) Other

TEDDY VEGAS UNBRANDED INTERACTIVE FEATURE OF THE DAY:

On what date will Barry Bonds be indicted (or definitively cleared of criminal wrongdoing)? The respondant who guesses closest wins his choice of a juicer or a syringe filled with Vitamin water.

SUBWAY FRUSTRATION OF THE DAY:

An announcement that was intelligible up to the point of the key piece of information --which was perfectly timed to correspond to the arrival of a loud train and was hence completely inaudible. "Because of a break in a water main at 34th street and 7th avenue, there is no service on the 7th avenue line. For downtown service please take the------(Insert sound of arriving train.)" This was repeated three straight times. Which seems like a sufficeintly large sample for me to conclude that it could not be the product of mere chance and incompeteence and so must have been the product of malice and forethought. Indeed, evidence of Malevolent Design.

EDIFYING IF INADVERTENT EAVESDROPPING MOMENT OF THE DAY:

I overheard a woman at a newstand speaking to her friend.

WOMAN: Is that Katie Holmes?…Wait, no..it’s Brittney Spears.

The fact that the two could be so easily confused felt like a poignant comment on the perils of motherhood with unloving, self-involved self-esteem diminishing husbands. Turns women as diverse as Katie Holmes and Brittney Spears into indisguishable blobs with blank looks on their faces.

PEEVE OF THE DAY:

TD Waterhouse Ameritrade ads. Double grievance. First they did that "Born Free" grandstrosity...with people singing "Born free...as free as the wind blows etc." at their ATM machines. And the payoff--if one wants to dignify it by calling it that--is that there's free checking or something. Get it? A different meaning of "free" with no relationship whatsoever to the meaning of the song. A first ballot entry into the Advertising Hall of Shame. An ad that makes you embarrassed to be in advertising. Hell, an ad that makes you embarassed to be human. Anyhow, now, they have followed up that audio visual inanity by running another ad that completely ruins the beautiful anthem "Bittersweet Symphony" for all of us. This time at least there is not a twisted misconceived botched word play at the end of it. In fact--and perhaps this is for the best--there is not even a shadow of a trace of a hint of a concept. Except general desecration. I guess that's the concept.

NOT ENTIRELY PLEASANT IRONY OF THE DAY::

Returning from seeing Ralph Fiennes in Faith Healer to find David Wright shilling for a faith healer in a mid-game commecial.

BUSINESS CARD TITLE OF THE DAY:

Rich Dinkes, VBD. (Very Big Deal).

PARADOXICAL REACTIONS OF THE DAY:

Guy who saw “Slow: Danger zone” sign and sped away cause he wanted to get as far away from it as possible.

Guy who saw cigarettes cause lung cancer ad and got so stressed out by it that he needed to smoke.

GRATUITOUS SOCIOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT OF THE DAY:

Instead of saying "Gesundheit", "God bless you" or even the Seinfeldian "You are so good looking" when someone sneezes, try saying "That is a disgusting habit!" with as much disdain as you can muster.

SINGLE SENTENCE RANDOM PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:

He worked on a Need-To-Not-Know basis.

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Posted on 7/21/2006 ( Permanent Link )
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