THE THOUSAND UNNATURAL SHOCKS THAT FLESH IS HEIR TO PROJECT PLUS A MIND-BLOWING FACTOID

THE THOUSAND UNNATURAL SHOCKS THAT FLESH IS HEIR TO:

I was re-reading Hamlet's soliloquy the other day and savoring some of my favorite lines. "And thus the native hue of resolution is sicklied o'er by the pale cast of thought" is certainly one. And "...the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to" is another. I have certainly been feeling my share of those natural shocks in the past year: Loss, death, broken bones etc. And for a moment I thought about listing them and seeing if I could come up with 1000. But then I decided it would be far less morbid and masochistic and far more fun to try to come up with a complementary list: To wit: The thousand Unnatural shocks that flesh is heir to. And I figured I'd make it a collective Teddy Vegas interactive feature...so I could tap into the vast creative resources of my distinguished readership. So anyhow, before the native hue of my resolution is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought (or mere laziness), let me get this party started. I'll throw down a handful of unnatural shocks and please please please help me reach my lofty goal of 1000 of 'em. (Or at least 50.)


The 1000 Unnatural Shocks that Flesh is Heir to Project hereby commences with:


1. Joan Rivers’ face.
2. Velvetta
3. Donald Trump’s hair
4. Donald trump’s being
5. The continued celebrity of Brittney Spears.
6. Pamela Anderson's breasts circa 1994.
7. Dip ‘& Dots: The Ice Cream of the Future
8. Hillary Clinton’s Laugh
9. Las Vegas
10. The Blackberry
11. Red Bull
12. Footprints on the moon.
13 Mass produced triplet strollers
14. Flava Flav
15. High fructose corn syrup
16. NYC Cranes
17. Continued claims of Robin Williams' comedic genius.
18. Focus Groups
19. "The War on Terror"
20. Liposuction
21. The designated hitter
22. HGH
23. Non-payment of Health insurance claims
24. Air Guitar Competitions
25. Ernie Anastos
26. Cowboy boots on Wall Street stockbrokers
27. Liquid Protein
28. Mobile Media Porno
29. Jocelyne Wildstein - NYC "Cat Woman"
30. E-Harmony or for that matter anything with E i.e E! Network
31. Cialis
32. Celebrity Designers
33. $50,000.00 Birthday Parties
34. Bluetooth wireless earpiece phones
35. Humvees
36. Vibrating belts for passive weight loss.
37. Talking car alarms
38. The Home Shopping network.
39. Botox
40. Pet psychiatrists
41. Alarm clocks
42. Reality TV
43. Blow up dolls

EXCRUCIATING IRONY OF THE DAY:

Two defense officials said Thursday that 108 U.S. troops committed suicide in Iraq in 2007. Which means, if my calculations are right, that, in the "war on terror", more troops were killed last year by suicide than by suicide bombers.

RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:

If he tended to put women up on a pedestal, it was only so that he could look up their skirts.

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