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Just read in the paper that Michael Jackson created a little scandal somewhere in the Arab world by entering a public women’s bathroom. The assumption was that it was due to his inability to interpret the signs on the doors. But, I'm not so sure it was a mistake. Actually, not sure there is an appropriate gender classification for him anymore. Not to mention an appropriate racial one.
Also saw an ad promoting the most shamelessly gratuitous addition to the iPod economy: iBoxer. Its a pair of boxer briefs with a Nano-sized pocket in the front, just to the left of Mr Happy. Now, why in the world would you need to have both hands free while you listen to your iPod in your underwear?? The ad shows us: So you can shamelessly imitate the pre-scientological Tom Cruise air guitaring in Risky Business. I honestly thought it was a joke. iBoxer? More like iWank.
Speaking of which: The only real use I can imagine for the product is that it gives compulsive masturbators an excuse for putting their hand down their pants in public. Oh, sorry. Not jerking off. Just turning the old click wheel. Yup, turning the click wheel. Soon to be added to the auto-erotic lexicon, right beside "Roughing Up the Suspect", "Playing 5-on-1" and "Punching the Clown."
And speaking of the onanism and the iPod economy, what, really, are the implications of iPorn becoming available for viewing on the new video iPod? Obviously, a huge increase in the consumption of porn in public places. Wouldn't it be sad if the enduring legacy of Steve Jobs' visionary, creativity-enabling, life-enhancing company was an exponential rise in the incidence of people masturbating in public urinals?
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Posted on 11/17/2005
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