Chapter Two...Peggy Jane's Diary

Before the diagnosis of colitis, i had started to get back ache which was played down my doctors. I couldn't really explain it. It was horrible. Started at the lower back and gradually over the next few months moved into the whole back and spine and knees. i didn't realise how bad it was until my birthday 2004,I was 20 and my parents took me to Ikea to buy things for the new home i was never gonna get. I walked around the whole place and by the end i was in a lot of pain and really stiff. Of course my family didn't believe me or really care all that much.

I finally decided to admit i couldn't cope alone anymore. My husband gave up his job immediately and began to look after me and our little boy.

I then became pregnant with my second baby, after the termination we were over the moon. The pregnancy was very difficult. I was very sick with morning sickness and although i had a small bump cuz he was too small, the extra weight was very hard on my joints.

about march 2005 i was 5 months gone and Dave's mum finally agreed to evict us (like i had asked her to when we moved in) it would help us be housed or so i thought. They told us they would put us in a B&B for upto 6 weeks as they couldn't keep us there longer than that as it is against the law, if we had no home at the end of 6 weeks we will be put in a hostel. So we went to the hotel it was horrible. a double bed and a single bed for same in the same room that was it. And in the middle of the city we didn't know and none of us could drive. Again my parents didnt offer any help, they said we could go to their house for dinner etc everyday, we did and we had to pay, they never picked us up we had to catch a bus. I was pregnant and could walk far due to the arthritis and we had Sam too. the bus stop was almost a mile away from the B&B and was on it we had to travel for about an hour and then walk to parents. That is when i started to use a wheelchair, getting a wheel chair and a child on and off a bus 4 times a day was awful, they didn't have disabled friendly buses then. Still no offer to pick us up. we had to spend a fortune on bus fares, i offered to pay my parents petrol money to pick us up everyday they didn't work or anything as my dad is disabled too ( a totally different disease to me though) but they said no basically.

We ended up being in the B&B not for 6 weeks.....but for 4 whole months. Then they said they wouldn't help us again as it was our fault we had been evicted from Daves' mothers. I was disgusted, I wrote to Tony Blair and everything, papers, local MP's, Ombudsman and no one would help. In the end i just wanted to give up.

Towards the end of the pregnancy i was informed my an IBD group that Arthritis is related to bowel diseases. I read the symptoms and knew. I had this. I called my GP or is fantastic and she order blood tests etc straight away. Unfortunately as i was pregnant nothing much could be done until after the baby was born.

As Samuel (my first) was 10 days late everyone was telling me, "if the first one is late, they'll all be late"

so when i had alot of pain a week before my 2nd was due i didn't think much of it. I was up most of the night taking my medication and i thought it was just the pain from the arthritis. I was drifting in and out of sleep. about 7 am i woke and i was in agony, i went for a shower to help my back and felt the need to push. i got Dave and told him to call an ambulance i was in agony and i thought something was wrong with the baby. After a few mix ups the paramedic arrived and luckily we were 2 minutes from the hospital. As soon as i got there i had him, Oliver 7lb 2oz. I had gone through the whole labour with no pain relief as i thought it was just my normal back pain. They couldn't believe it.

I didn't want to take my new baby back to that awful hotel so my mum said we could stay for a few days (kind hey).
That first night my sisters little boy was taken to hospital again as he had Leighs which is a metabolic disorder he was very ill and we knew he wouldn't last the winter to come as she had just been told. He had a cold but it made him really ill they said he would be home by the weekend. The next morning my mum and dad went to see my nephew in hospital and stayed there all day, i was in alot of pain and had just given birth and they didn't realise that i needed them too, Well i think they probably did but my sister is always more important. I came out of the hospital the same day i had our new baby boy Oliver. as i did with Sam.
So i needed to see my GP that morning so she could check me and Oliver. My parents forgot,and Daves' mum was going to do it but then her and her partner had a problem with the car and couldn't do it either.
When they finally arrived home(my parents) they didn't even ask me how i was or say thank you for all the house work i had done for them. I just felt like they didn't want us to stay there really.
That night about midnight we had a call to say my nephew was really ill and they thought he wouldn't make the next few days. In the morning about 5am the nurse called and said it will be soon when he passes away and my sister wanted my mum and dad and me and my other sister there. I had just had Oliver 2 days ago and i had to leave him with my auntie.
My breast milk was coming in that day and i couldn't breast feed due to the meds i was on but i had a breast pump just to relieve it abit as it is painful. Oliver's first midwife appointment was also that day and i missed that. I was supposed to have an Anti d injection as i have rare blood type and Oliver doesn't. You must have it within 72 hours of having the baby and the GP's Secretary wasn't very nice to me at all.
We went to the hospital and it was awful. My nephew was so so so ill. We were all there, my sister decided she wanted him at home and they hospital arranged for nurse to be there with us all. she worked for the Diana Nurses (a charity set up by Princess Diana) The nurse was fab. We stayed there all day and everyone else slept there. when we left he, my nephew was laughing i kissed him and told him i loved him and Dave was playing games with him making him laugh as he always did. Little did i know that would be the last time i would see him alive. Me and Dave stayed at mum and dads alone. He survived the night but the next morning they said it would be his last day. No one would pick us up so we could go over there and be with him and all the family, people who weren't even as close to him as me and Dave were there and we weren't. They kept calling to let us know how he was, they gave him something to help him go peacefully he was in no pain.

then we got the call....He had died.

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Posted on 5/3/2008 ( Permanent Link )
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