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While the Mayor has not reacted to the Bin Laden tape in the same way as the rest of the conservative crowd, he did say that the City is perpetually in a state of Orange.
Will there ever be a time when the City is in a state of Green, or perhaps a nice tertiary color, or an ochre perhaps? If we’re always Orange, won’t we forget about it, and start behaving as if everything was green? What is the point if we are all complacent?
The very minute that the CIA gave the nod to the Bin Laden tape, the conservative pundits and Republican consultants declared war on the President’s detractors, accusing them of giving Bin Laden exactly what he wanted. One woman with a particularly large set of teeth (she looked like a character from South Park), brought her cartoon-like face to MSNBC and used threatening language aimed at “those members of congress who oppose the President, and even some filmmakers”. Damn those artists! They always fuck it up for the rest of us!
The spin so far goes like this:
Optimistic, Bellicose Spin: We have Bin Laden on the run and he is so desperate that he is plagiarizing dorkish statesmen and insane movie directors. He is hiding in a cave somewhere on the verge of losing his power and credibility. No change in policy necessary. We are kicking ass! (PS, let’s invade Iran!)
Optimistic but Restrained Spin: Bin Laden needed to appease his believers so he opted to borrow language from Americans opposed to the war, proving to his apparently very ignorant believers that his policies are effective. We should review our policy to see if he knows more than he should.
Pessimistic, Bellicose Spin: Bin Laden is stronger than ever and has infiltrated the minds of many Americans. We must step up efforts to stamp him out, improve domestic surveillance, eliminate all avenues for internal dissent and crush anyone Cheney finds too wussy to me a man. We must change our policy to remove as much power from the Congress, those fucking whiners, and give it to the President and Vice President so that they don’t have to worry about the minutia of law. It’s time for a more authoritarian form of democracy. Enough with the First Amendment, that stinking piece of trash!
Pessimistic but Restrained Spin: Bin Laden is stronger than ever and will continue to be stronger until we come up with a really good reason for being in Iraq. We are mired in a war that we can never win and need to either just take over the whole damn country and administer it like Puerto Rico, or we need to get the hell out and leave them to their own devices. Either way, this is costing a lot of money.
The Existential Spin: We fucked it up therefore we are fucked.
The New Age Spin: The Piscean Age was bound to bring about literalist fundamentalism, and ruin any chance for Valhalla.
The Fascist Spin: Why should we care about these “other” people? They deserve to be nuked.
The Inexplicable Jacques Chirac Spin: We have nuclear warheads you couldn’t imagine in your worst nightmare, and we are not afraid to use them.
The Marmiar Spin: We invaded an autonomous nation without due cause; prior to that time, Bin Laden was a separate issue. Now, the two issues are melded together like the head of the monstrous Scylla. Until we come up with a solution for Iraq, Bin Laden will be the gadfly that drives the bull to madness.
Back to Bloomberg: While I prefer yellow, I commend him for not pandering to the public panic and for not acting like a Dick Cheney because of a reactionary video tape.
Tags:
bloomberg, cheney, concervatives, neo cons, orange, public panic, religious fundamentalism
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Posted on 1/20/2006
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