December 28, 2006

What is Parsing? Or, how to REALLY understand what Bush is telling you

The word “parsing” is one used by linguists, grammarians, Scrabble players, and those of us who have studied ancient languages.

It means simply “to cut up” a sentence to reveal meaning or to clarify understanding.

If you have ever muddled your way through a Latin or Greek exam, you know that parsing is a way to approach meaning, or even to force ambiguity to take sides.

That said, many people are now parsing everything that Bush has ever said about his administration and its strategies and tactics.

Before parsing begins, there are few things that Americans must be able to admit about themselves, otherwise parsing is pointless and amounts to a nerdy pastime.

1. Americans do not like to be criticized – not in Kindergarten, not in Secondary school, College or in the Workplace. We especially do NOT like to be criticized by Foreigners (especially those Canadians!).
2. 'Comic Sans MS'; ">We think we know more and better.
3. We react swiftly, before thinking.
4. We use words that we do not always understand, because someone else used it first.
5. We like our information in small bites; we want it pre-digested, and with pictures.
6. We would rather watch a scandal involving Brittany Spears accidentally showing us her cunt than listening to a well-though out argument for or against a particular policy.

How can I say these things?! How rude of me! How simply un-American!!!!

Wrong. The first thing about being an American is to remember that we all have a responsibility to participate in the processes that govern us.

Here are some examples to match the above:

1. Bush rejected all criticism against his plans and referred to his naysayers as “activists”, “terror-friendly” or “partisan”. In school these days, it is the child who rules the room, not the teacher. Bad behavior is medicated rather than described and addressed, and failure is not acknowledged – we just move them right along so that one day they too can become President nad invade a smaller, weaker nation.
2. Because our Pop culture is admired in almost as many places as the American Express card is accepted, we believe it means that EVERYTHING about is equally admired. Actually, many people are laughing at us, and we don’t seem to get it.
3. It is more likely that an accidental bump on the train will lead to a fistfight than a “pardon me”, kids resort to knives and guns rather than teasing or group shame, and bullying is a prized activity.
4. Bush likes to let fly words like “Islamo-fascists”, even though he would be hard-pressed to define either; likewise, those who believe they know the meaning of these double-talking words repeat them. “I should have stood in bed.”
5. Unlike our appetite for fast food fries, burgers and soft drinks, we can’t stomach super-sized facts. Give it to us in small bites. Iran bad. US good. Kill Iran.
6. Let’s face it, even Google admits that Brittany’s cunt gets more hits on the old search engine than does Bush’s policy.

When listening to Bush, it is wise to remember than many of the words planted in the text he is reading are placed there to elicit emotion, draw attention away from other words, and to lead the subconscious language sectors of the brain to a pre-directed conclusion.The people who write Bush’s speeches and policy are not politicians or policy makers or those educated in history or statesmanship. They are marketing people, and their job is to sell to you, whether the product is Fast Food, Fast Cars or Fast Double Talk.

Listen carefully and use your own brain; don’t rely on a marketing team to tell you what to think and how to vote.

Tags:   Brittany Spears shows cunt, Bush on Iran, medicating kindergarteners, Parsing Bush Talk

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Posted on 12/28/2006 ( Permanent Link )
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