I don’t understand why Hillary Clinton should be content with the number 2 spot when she is ahead in the popular vote and Obama has not yet been able to lock up the nomination. Next week is the Puerto Rico primary, with a lot of delegates, and she is favored to win big there in another blowout.

Obama is the desperate one. He is trying to project that he is already the winner, and the facts just don’t support that assertion. Unless he can sway the superdelegates to abandon her and come over to him, which he is trying to do now by behaving as though he has already got it locked up, he is going to go into the convention with fewer delegates than he will need to win on the first ballot. At that point it’s going to go back to old-fashioned horse-trading and arm-twisting, which plays to the Clintons’ capabilities and talents.

Obama’s supposed show of strength is pure street hustler preening. The night of Clinton’s big victory in Kentucky, her second in two weeks, he set up his big victory celebration in Iowa, yet, where the people are a bunch of hicks, just to fill up the TV screen with white faces. Iowa is a bunch of hayseeds, and Obama is leading them around by the nose like cattle. If Hillary Clinton tried to stage a phony photo opportunity with a crowd of black people, she would be laughed out of the room, but naturally Obama gets a free pass. He is so blatantly phony, and nobody wants to see it. His supporters are behaving like brainwashed Scientologists, and they viciously attack anybody who is not taken in by him. You want to see how fast the freakin “new age” goes out the window? Just address a couple of uncomplimentary remarks about their boy, and the grotesque rubber smiley-face mask comes off to reveal Darth Vadar (Obama himself resembles Yoda).  New age, my butt! As Jesse Ventura said on Hannity, the whole thing reeks of fascism.

Incidentally, I’d like to thank all the foreigners who are supporting Obama’s candidacy. Of course, they are represented by Gordon Brown, Silvio Berlusconi et al. But they obviously adhere to the idea of the U.S. being the laboratory to try out unique social concepts. Thanks a lot, folks. Maybe we should take an interest in your politics as well. I know that Nobel Prize-winning author Günter Grass once referred to us as “the world’s garbage can, “ but he was later revealed to be a card-carrying nazi. Where do the rest of you fit into that little scenario, I wonder?

Somebody show me where I am wrong, OK? Tim Russert and all those other knuckleheads have been trying to convince the world for months that she is a loser and she should get out of the race, but they don’t know any more than I do.  Maybe less.

Not only is she still good, but she is beating McCain in every market and picking up support in population segments where Obama doesn’t stand a chance. Obama is driving support over to McCain everywhere you care to look. He has the African-American electorate, but in a general election they only comprise 20-30% of the population. He has the liberal left vote, but they are a rump, and they are a captive segment of the Democratic Party. There is nowhere else for them to go. They can never go over to McCain. I say, decide the nomination without them.

Hillary Clinton has been pilloried by the establishment media, but they are personally jealous and resentful of her and her husband, and they are the craven lap dogs of the reactionary media interests and the immensely powerful insurance banking lobby, which fears losing its health insurance monopoly. She is fighting a battle that has been fought in every civilized country, where the insurance interests have never given up trying to hold onto health insurance because it is such a lucrative source of income. In every country they have lost, and they will eventually lose here too; but they will fight to the last gasp breath to keep their stranglehold on the people’s health, which pays 20-25% a year return on investment, even as people are needlessly suffering and dying for no reason. The insurance interests are slathering money on these reporters to bury Hillary Clinton, and they are keeping the Obama campaign in gravy too.

Once this campaign gets to the convention, you are going to see how woefully ignorant the political culture in this country is. The Obama campaign is not going to have the depth of culture to play the game, and the press, who are a bunch of airheads, are not equipped to report it. Anybody who understands how to cover an open convention is long dead. If I were Bill Clinton, I would crack a few books about Huey Long, who was an American master of political wheeler-dealing, and use him as a model how to break Obama’s back at the convention. A lot is riding on it.

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Whatever you think about gay marriage, it is essentially great for comedians. Disgusting Larry Craig, nauseating Jim McGreevey, loathsome Rosie O’Donnell, just plain repulsive Ellen DeGenerate. Let ‘em all marry each other with Oscar de la Hoya as the freakin bridesmaid! What do I care?

Unfortunately, it’s also a bullshit issue made to ordure for the Republicans, and it cannot have raised its pointy little head at a more opportune time for them than the present, when they are stinking worse than a barrel of rancid fish head offal left out too long behind the outhouse of a leper colony.

If Obama gets the Democratic nomination, gay marriage is going to be a major sinkhole for him. He can’t afford to hedge on it for fear of losing a major element of his constituency.

The Republicans have already started their strategy of burying Obama under a manure pile of nonsense, with the analogy calling him an appeaser (is that like an appetizer?) like Neville Chamberlain.  99% of the population think Neville Chamberlain is the new Yankees reliever, but they sure understand the concept of caving in to a bunch of despotic terrorist pricks.

Just making the accusation has accomplished the Republican goal of internalizing it in the public’s minds. You don’t have to substantiate it, just get it out there. That’s how Reagan got in, that’s how both Bushes got in, that’s what sunk Kerry, and that’s the strategy they’re counting on to sink Obama.

Today it was appeasement, tomorrow gay marriage, then they got abortion, gun control, Louis Farrakhan, you name it. They can accuse Obama of being a secret demon worshipper at Farrakhan’s Nation of Islam Mosque on the South Side of Chicago and he can issue an outraged denial, but it will already have been internalized by all the freakin Wal-Mart shoppers, and the damage will have been done.

Naturally, the appeasement remark threw the liberal commentators into a frenzy, but that was already after the fact. Nobody cares about appeals to reason. In fact, all the denials and outraged sanctimony in the world just give the accusation more currency.

Republicans are like a wounded beast, and that is when they are most dangerous. Their campaign against Obama will be a one-loaded-innuendo-a-day affair until it finally piles up to a critical mass, some true, some imagined, that will destroy his credibility even among voters who are kindly disposed toward him (which I’m not).

The Republicans’ great fear is that Clinton will still manage to win the nomination, in which case they know they are sunk. She and her husband have always beat them at any game they have chosen to play, usually by turning their own piggish behavior against them.

I am not as smart as the Clintons, so I only have my own limited intellectual resources to draw on, and believe me, they are diminishing by the day. What they are telling me is that the Democrats need to wise up and fight Republican insults and innuendo by smearing them worse. Start by announcing that the high gas prices and the Iran war are a Republican conspiracy to get rich off the backs of the people. That sounds pretty credible. Attack John McCain on the grounds of senility and losing his marbles. Obama gingerly touched upon that approach, but was too nervous to go for a full frontal assault and hammer away at McCain in a substantial way, which he so richly deserves.

I definitely would go after McCain on the basis of his age, and not tenderly. Show up at his rallies with canes and walking sticks and wheeled walkers. Put him on the defensive, making him prove he’s really fit. Even if he is, so what? Call him grandpa, the ol’geezer. That’s how you play politics!

Republicans are easy bait. If freakin Vito Fosella, Staten Island’s piece of Great Kills garbage, decides to run for congress again, show up at his campaign speeches waving a pepperoni salami and scream for him to keep it in his pants! That’s how you handle those pricks!

Barack Obama’s home district, the Hyde Park section of Chicago has the distinction of being the birthplace of this writer, and also the area where my uncle, Saul Bellow, lived and wrote his greatest books. Bellow was living in Paris when he wrote the story of my birth to use as the denouement for “The Adventure of Augie March”, so I can also claim to have been born in Paris, at least in the literary sense. How many nasty little no-talent mediocre strivers can make that assertion? The vicious little dorks who compose New York’s literary establishment, if you care to grace those grasping porkers, stuffing themselves at the trough, with such an elegant appelation, can never forgive me for having such a notable history. Fuck ‘em!

Hyde Park is also distinguished as being the location of the intersection of 47th Street and South Parkway, a corner that was immortalized by blues singer Lou Rawls in his classic hit “World of Trouble”. The hysterical lead-up to the song is the tale of a young black man, all pimped out with freshly processed hair, standing in front of the Walgreens. He is awestruck in admiration of his automobile, which is parked at the curb, a Cadillac, naturally, or as Rawls sings it, “white on white in white”.

The guy’s reverie is broken by the advancing fury of his high-stepping girlfriend, in a night dress and slippers, hair still in curlers, and bearing a huge butcher knife. It seems that word has eventually gotten back to her that he has done her wrong, and she has made a determination to do a little elective surgery on him (surgery of her election). Hence the name of the song.

Now in the prevalent political environment, I think I can be excused for casting Barack Obama as the young man in this picture, with Hillary as his hatchet wielding pursuer. It’s not that far from reality. Hell hath no fury like a brass battle axe who feels she is being juked out of the presidential nomination that she and her future ex-husband have been plotting for years to seize, particularly when the Republican Party is collapsing at lightning speed like the putrid maggot-ridden, termite infested structure that it so manifestly deserves to be.

One summer beach day I was sitting at a bar on the Jersey shore waiting for my girlfriend, Magpie, to finish raising the sea level in the ladies’ room. On the barstool next to me was a real Hillary Clinton voter, built like a fireplug with a mouth to match. This old broad was a real comedian. After she had gotten tired of exchanging wisecracks with a couple of old gents seated to the other side of her, she turned to me and addressed me:

“Y’know, men are a pain in the ass!”

Not able to resist my inner OJ, I shot back:

“Maybe you’re doing it wrong.”

Cymbals clash! End of conversation. I don’t exactly have the common touch when relating to Wal-Mart shoppers. But I can talk. Oh yeah!I have never had a problem with an audience in a comedy club. My problem has always been with management.

An old boss of mine who really loved me once complimented me by asking me why I had never gone into politics. His meaning was clear – you could make a lot more money stealing than you’ll ever make working for me.

First of all, I was doing fine working for him. I was living very well styling ladies’ accessories, and it kept my hands busy.

Secondly, I don’t car about people that much, which is to say, not at all. In politics, even when you’re betraying the public trust, which surely would have been my role in the process, there is an element of priesthood, of the laying on of hands.

“Congressman, my neighbor plays his radio too loud.”

“Certainly, madam. I will send somebody over to ask him to turn it down.”

“You’re such a good boy! I’m going to tell all my friends to vote for you.”

Put in an equivalent position, I likely would have advised the old doll to tell her neighbor to worry his iPod up his butt – sideways.”

It’s unfathomable to me why somebody would go into politics without wanting to steal. That’s the only sane rationale. That’s how Republicans see it as well (that boss of mine was a Republican). That’s why they spent millions going through the Clintons’ finances. They figured that no matter how smart he was, they could catch him at stealing at something, though they never did. The Clintons had gone into politics for the most altruistic of reasons. Also, the way they saw it, it beats working at a job for a boss.


Nevertheless, whatever illusions they ever had have been beat out of them by the same forces they had gone in to conquer and what we are left with is street hustler Obama, with his skinny pimping suit, being chased down South Parkway by high-steppin’ fat mama Hillary packing a pistol in one hand and a meat axe in the other as Bubba wails “Abide By Me” on his saxophone under the harvest moon.

Hillary Clinton Panders To Anti-(space)Alien Extremists!
click here:
http://www.200motels.net/hil.html

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Here is my horoscope from today’s New York Post (oh, it’s gotta be true!): “Don’t be forced into making changes just because people are trying to browbeat you into them.”

Thanks, I needed that. Here I was, just about to give up on Hillary Clinton and go over to Obama. Despite the fact that he has insistently called her a liar and brought up the Clinton “impeachment” and Whitewater just like a Republican.

The Post saved me from behaving like an imbecile.

Nevertheless, I don’t think that’s what they had in mind. They want her out of the picture. The Republicans are hot to see this thing end, so they can start to go to work on Obama themselves. It’s maddening for them, all locked and loaded and having to hold their fire for fear of showing their hand too early. On primary night, one boring commentator asked a loudmouth, bleach-blonde Republican political operative what treatment they were planning for Obama if he captured the nomination, and she changed the subject.

The Post is so desperate to bring pressure to bear on Hillary Clinton to drop out of the race, that they even invoked George McGovern, of all people, and we all know the high esteem in which they hold him, who recommended that she throw in the towel.

Meantime, what ever happened to Reverend Wright, Obama’s “pastor”? Well, I’ll tell you what happened to him! He got two suitcases full of money – one from the Obama campaign and the other one from the Republican Party – to shut the puck up and take a powder.That’s how things work in Chicago (I was born in Obama’s home district, Hyde Park).

Hillary Clinton used to be Rambo, then she was Rocky and now she’s Indiana Jones. She’s the only firewall standing between the world’s population and a tedious, hysterical six-month slander campaign focused on Obama, but designed to make the rest of us suffer along with him until we just elect McCain to make them shut up. McGovern knows something about ceaseless Republican hectoring and whining, only now he’s forgotten because he’s freakin senile. Maybe he was senile back in 1972 when, running against the world’s biggest gangster, Nixon, he totally blew it and ended up winning only 2 out of 48 states. Yeah, if I were Hillary Clinton I would definitely discount any advice this turkey had to impart to me. By way of The Post, yet!

If I could tell Hillary Clinton one thing it would be this: Hang in there, baby! Everybody who voted for you is cheering you on. Don’t crap out in the home stretch.

Hillary Clinton Panders To Anti-(space)Alien Extremists!
click here:
http://www.200motels.net/hil.html

GIULIANI'S PANTIES! click here:
http://www.200motels.net/RUDY.html