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Giants quarterback Eli Manning looks so young that instead of biting a teeth-protecting mouthpiece he should be wearing a baby's pacifier. But you don't need the wisdom of the ages to be a football quarterback, just a natural affinity for the pigskin.Who am I to argue with the natural selection process of the NFL that designated this kid to be the most promising new star of football? By and large, he appears to have fulfilled his advance billing, leading the Giants to a mostly successful season.New Yorkers expect results from their sports teams, all the more so because their own lives are so fraught with deceptions and disappointments, most of which are the result of their own inadequacies. When they unmercifully booed A-Rod during his 2006 slump, or with their current fitful roasting of the Knicks, what they are really doing is exorcising the tortured demons that live within their own insignificant selves (this little piece of philosophizing is never going to win me any popularity contests in New York, that's for sure!).This last week was Manning's turn to be roasted on the spit after last week having his youthful backside impaled on the horned battle helmets of the Vikings. New York, famous for throwing tickertape and confetti on its winners, has another, rather less edifying substance that it is pleased to regale on the heads of those who disappoint, like the monkeys in the Bronx Zoo who are late in receiving their bananas ha-ha! Manning accepted this unflattering treatment with dignity and reserve, taking the hit for his poor showing against Minnesota and promising a more enterprising performance the next time around.As it happens, luck was on his side today against the formidable Bears in their freezing Chicago lair. While the weather was not anywhere near as revolting as it was later on for the Steelers-Bengals game, it was not Springtime For Hitler either, with a frigid, icy wind and rain coming off Lake Michigan, cutting through player' unprotected hands and bodies like a razor blade. No physiognomy can long endure that type of exposure, including those of the Bears, who should be used to it by now, if such a thing could be possible. But it never is.Nevertheless, Chicago quickly took control of the game in the first quarter under the skillful direction of Rex Grossman, who immediately drove 79 yards on 4 completions to score 7-0. If Manning's passing faltered, with two passes intercepted that I can remember, including one snatched right inside the Bears' own end zone by Charles Tillman and a fumble when the freezing ball slid out of his hand, his running game was more reliable, notably through the efforts of Derrick Ward, who rushed for first downs with the regularity of the milkman who delivers Manning's infant formula (I can't help myself). This went on for so long and was so effective that the Bears, being from Chicago after all, assigned some goons to cripple him, which they did, ending his participation in the fourth quarter. By now, however, the Giants had got into the rhythm of the game and were able to carry on to victory despite Ward's absence. In a surge of inspiration Manning managed to complete a contested pass to Amani Toomer in the Bears' end zone and followed up with four completions for a final scoring opportunity with a minute and a half to play.So Manning gets to survive another week in New York, an effort made all the more onerous by the immense weight shifted onto his young shoulders by the execrable prestations of the city's other trained seals, like the Jets, who, though they cut up the Dolphins for bait, still reside in the Porto-San of humanity, and that gang of dribbling cretins whose name I cannot bring myself to invoke.Eli Manning. He got the name of a quarterback. He has the sophistication and assurance of a quarterback. He throws the ball and wins games. Will he develop into another Namath?Broadway Eli? Well, something anyway.
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Posted on 12/3/2007
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