REPUBLICAN HAPPY FEET

Put on your dancing shoes and do the Republican shuffle down to the Minneapolis International Airport, where the Republicans are forming a conga line to suck cock in the toilet stalls of the airport terminal.

Senator Larry Craig, the winner of the hot dog-eating contest, will be demonstrating his technique for dancing the limbo under the toilet stall partitions while Rudolph Giuliani, America’s Pervert, models the latest Victoria’s Secret line of panty and bra combinations for cross-dressing attorneys.

Sign up for Republican congressman Mark Foley’s Internet mailing list of underage congressional pages to receive his daily briefing about hard-ons, wedgies and all-male camping trips where sodomy, buggery and circle jerks are concluded with an old-fashioned campfire weenie roast.

Hollywood choreographer Busby Berkeley had nothing on high-steppin’ Larry Craig, the hottest guy to dance for dick in the U.S. Senate. When asked where he developed his toilet stall shuffling techniques, he answered, “I used to watch a lot of Steppin Fetchit movies. As for the finger-wiggling under the stall partition, that comes from “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, where they lock the guy in the trunk of the car and he manages to squeeze his fingers out and wiggle them, right before Leathermask cuts them off with an axe.”

Nevertheless, Senator Craig insists, “I am not gay. I was dancing in the toilet because I’m a happy person. It’s great to be alive in Minneapolis in the summertime. I was just trying to make friends with the other guys in the shithouse.

“Also, a public bathroom is as good a place as any to influence voters. There’s nothing in the law that says you can’t suck a man’s dick to get his vote.”



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Posted on 8/29/2007 ( Permanent Link )
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