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Oh, so now Hillary Clinton has got her drawers in a knot because people are paying attention to her shabby wardrobe, which looks like it was bought off the discount rack at Bolton’s!
She’s complaining that the press is remarking on a tiny bit of cleavage that she showed while delivering one of her marvelous speeches before the United States Senate, instead of focusing on the idiotic speech. First of all, we all know her speeches blah blah blah. Second of all, I pray to God to deliver me from Hillary Clinton’s pathetic cleavage.
If she would have anything at all, maybe Bill Clinton would have focused on that instead of being sacrificed to the ravages of Monica Lewinski’s thong underpants.
If you don’t even have the talent to attractively package yourself as a person in public life, how can you be trusted to conduct public business? Everybody looks terrible!
Any Italian barber in New York could do a better job for $20 on John Edwards’ haircut than what he is getting now for $400 in South Carolina. Who gets his hair cut in South Carolina anyway, except for B’rer Rabbit and the Tar Baby?
Eliot Spitzer looks like a raincoat flasher on the 7 train. Whatever you say about New York State Senate Majority Leader Bruno, at least he has the decency to appear in public wearing nice suits. He looks like Johnny Carson, but that’s not so bad, considering that he’s no kid. Bruno may be stealing like crazy, but at least he has the presence of mind to spend some of his stolen money on decent clothes.
Whoever is promoting the concept that you need to look shabby to be taken seriously needs to have his head examined. I think the rationale is that if you are focusing on your appearance, you can’t be spending enough time thinking about serious policy questions. That’s like saying you can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. Anyway, even on their best day, the middlebrow dorks who are formulating public policy are no literary geniuses no matter how you look at it.
New Yorkers are particularly susceptible to this line of reasoning. New York is a city where ugly people have got all the good jobs and attractive people are working as bartenders and cocktail waitresses. Like the fable of Cinderella and her ugly sisters, the homely people intend to maintain the status quo, and are prepared to go to serious lengths of destruction to enforce it.
Ugly does as ugly is. Look who we got running things, and look how they’re being run. It’s Halloween 365 days a year, with bow-tied neo-conservatives in wingtip brogues and broads in “Hairspray” bouffant hairdos calling the shots, and the city is being run like a shithouse.
We need a political party where only smart-looking people are allowed to join. I guarantee you good ideas would come out of a situation like that, and people would smarten up to be admitted. Look how great they’re doing in California with Schwartznegger! We need that here, instead of freakin’ Eliot Spitzer and Giuliani, who should be used as a scarecrow on top of the Liberty Tower to scare terrorists.
Elegance and charm still count for a lot in this world. By insisting that our public figures appear as though they forgot to remove the hanger from their suits before putting them on we are shooting ourselves in the foot.
While we are on the subject, let me be the first to call for Eliot Spitzer to resign as governor. I voted for him, but I don’t care about him anymore. He is guilty of the same kind of targeting of political enemies that sank Nixon. Now the cover-up, like Nixon, is worse than the original blundering. The man is a rube and a political neophyte. Six months into his first term as governor, he has been hogtied and hung out to dry by Bruno who, for all his faults, is a competent politician.
Spitzer comes from a background of coarse, loudmouth blowhards. New York Magazine reported that eating dinner with the Spitzer family, with screaming and yelling, is like an Animal House food fight. At these dinners any kind of civilized intercourse is considered to be insubstantial and superficial, and people fight over policy differences and social polemics to the extent that you can’t even eat. This Spitzer seems to believe that nothing is getting done unless the atmosphere is ratcheted up to the point of sickness and nausea. His big reputation is that he is revolting and obsessive to the point of hysteria, which is OK, I guess, if there is a point to it, but as a general day-to-day procedure, I think I’ll take a pass. New York already has enough big pricks. What we need is calmness and rationality (Bloomberg), not freakin’ screaming banshees and enemies lists.
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Posted on 7/28/2007
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