MEOW!

Allright, this is where I absolutely draw the line!

They told me cigarettes are bad for you and I accepted that. Then it was alcohol, then it was rich food. They’ve been trying to pin something on reefer for decades without succeeding but that hasn’t stopped them from making it into a hanging offense.

Blah blah blah. Everything is bad for you, including telling jokes because you might offend somebody or give them a complex, and given the present fragile mental state of the population, where people are walking around afraid of their own shadows, that’s a real possibility. That’s why everybody’s on Prozac or some other mood-altering garbage.

Now there’s an article in today’s New York Post (what else?) that eating pussy can give you cancer.

According to The Post the vagina contains a virus that causes cancer in the tonsils, and I am definitely at risk because I have eaten more pussy than a wild coyote loose in Westchester County.

According to that logic, all of France is at risk. That would be the ultimate revenge of the Republican Party, millions of Frenchmen dropping like flies because of eating contaminated pussy.

What’s Mayor Bloomberg going to do, put a tax on pussy? “Ladies and Gentlemen, because of the public health menace caused by going down on women, the mayor is instituting a tax on the vagina. We’re attaching meters to women’s pussies and every month our meter reader, 200motels, will go around New York and read the meters. Then we’ll send out a bill to all the women based on the amount of sexual activity.”

A tax on the pussy should definitely cut down on unnecessary fucking and sucking.

Not that this will raise much revenue for the city. A recent issue of New York Magazine dedicated to New Yorkers’ sex lives concluded that most New Yorkers spend their time text messaging and jerking off.

Boy, things have sure changed since I was a kid. Back then, the pussy was a highly prized commodity.

Nevertheless, the mayor should award a medal to Paris Hilton for going around without panties. That way at least, the pussy gets plenty of fresh air, which might make it healthier to eat.

Tags:   None

© All rights reserved.

Posted on 5/11/2007 ( Permanent Link )
Read 492 Times
 Send to Friend