GUILTY PLEASURES

Everybody has his secret vices. Chocolate, a secret stash of Dunkin’ Donuts in your desk at work.

Why should the rich and famous be any different? Just because Mel Gibson decided to take a midnight stroll down the middle of the Pacific Coast Highway after having 8 or 12 martinis and screaming “Fuck The Jews!” at the top of his lungs, should he be held to a higher standard than the rest of us, who are also unquestionably swine.

I mean, I mean why should political correctness stand in the way of a little self-expression? The guy’s a great artist. He made a very artistic little movie about the Jews spitting and throwing rocks at Jesus, one that he claims is historically correct, right down to the hook noses and crooked teeth of the Jews. In his latest movie he shows the Jews annihilating the Native People of Mexico. And he has been promoting a TV mini-series about the holocaust wherein a cabal of hook-nosed usurers trick Hitler into massacring their own people so the conspirators can get their grasping little hands on all the booty, sort of a Nazi Mel Brooks Hogan’s Heroes Springtime for Hitler comedy of errors, only minus the laffs.

Maybe the guy’s right! Maybe the Jews are responsible for every evil thing that ever happened in humanity, from the black plague, as medieval Christians maintained, to AIDS, which is the line being pushed by the Black Muslims. How are we ever going to get to the bottom of things if guys like Mel Gibson are denied their constitutional right to free expression by screaming their drunken asses off on the Pacific Coast Highway at 4:00 AM?

Actually, Gibson’s little cri de coeur was a breath of fresh air for the legions of anti-semitic pricks leading lives of quiet desperation in countless offices of New York City, hoping to someday string up the Jews, not to mention the countless communities of knuckle-dragging Neanderthals across flyover country hoping that Gibson gives some traction to their not too deeply repressed sentiments. The way they spit out the word “liberal” it’s obvious whom they’re talking about. After all, it’s been a long time since we had a lynching of Jews in this country, and the bigots are getting restless.

Although it may lack the artistic merit of Stanley Kowolski crying out for Stella on Desire Street, Gibson’s little performance had no small impact, coming on the same day that an anti-semitic gunman invaded a Jewish center in Seattle and opened fire on five Jewish women, killing one. To say that these incidents were isolated or exclusive of each other would be painting too happy a face on things. The fact is, every time Israel wins a fight, the anti-semites go berserk, seeing Jews winning a fight as an affront to the natural order (or should I say “ordure?” Look it up) of things.

Anti-semitism is a virus that causes full time obsession about the Jews, even among anti-semites who never met one, like in Japan. An anti-semite passes all his waking hours burning up about the Jews. Your bicycle gets a flat tire? It’s “Fuck the Jews.” The cops catch you piss drunk going double the speed limit on the Pacific Coast Highway? It’s the fucking Jews again that put them up to it. Gibson asked one of the cops, “Are you a Jew?” In the diseased cobweb mind of the anti-semite, the Jew is everywhere, knows everything and is like “The Wizard of Oz,” pulling all the strings. In fact, “The Wizard of Oz” was written by a bigot, whatever the guy’s name was, and the racist prick was probably a Jew-hater too. How many freakin’ anti-semitic allusions exist in “The Wizard of Oz?” How should I know? I wouldn’t waste my time on a freakin’ fairy tale. Let the experts figure it out!

If this loathsome behavior on the part of Gibson produces revulsion in the artistic community and results in Gibson not being able to find a distributor for his imbecilic swill, or if he ends up being shunned by producers and agents, he can always blame his ruined career on – the Jews!

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Posted on 7/31/2006 ( Permanent Link )
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