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I’ve got an idea for a new Olympic sport called Butt Skiing, where you go the first five feet down the mountain on skis, and slide the rest of the way down using your butt for a luge. I could win the Gold.
I always wanted to take up figure skating. I’d like to do some triple axle spins with Michele Kwan sitting on my face.
Why don’t they put in a mechanical rabbit for the speed skaters to chase, like at the dog track? Only since the games are being held in Italy, they could substitute a horse’s head for the rabbit.
Speedskater Apolo Ohno, whose real name is Kawasaki Suzuki, got his name when he was training on a frozen lake in California. He skidded off the ice and, catching his crotch on a fence post, screamed, “Oh no! Oh no!” and the name stuck.
Conditions in those four-man bobsleds are so tight that the Greek team had to be taken to the hospital to be surgically removed from each other’s butts.
Who ever heard of those countries? Slovenia, Slovakia. It turns out that Bulimia is a country halfway between Croatia and Wetdreamia.
The Arab speed skier was in the lead until he blew himself up and turned into a flying freestyle jumper. When the Mexican cross country skier crossed the finish line, he asked one of the judges, “Is this the way to LA?”
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Posted on 2/24/2006
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