CLINTON SHOOTS LAWYER

Last Saturday, President Bill Clinton shot a member of his hunting party under mysterious circumstances and waited a full day before revealing that he had done so.

The victim a 78-year-old Texas attorney named Joe Schmuckley, remains in the intensive care ward of Texas Memorial Hospital with a shotgun pellet lodged in his heart.

Republican critics were quick to attack. “This is an impeachable offense,” said Senator Kate Bailey Hutchison. “For this to happen on Texas soil degrades the great state of Texas and all its citizens.”

Republican Senator George Allen said, “This illustrates why Clinton is unfit to be president. For a sitting president to behave so irresponsibly demonstrates why he should not be permitted to conduct business in the name of the American people.”

Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina, speaking to a convention of the National Rifle Association, told the assembled delegates, “President Clinton, a notorious draft dodger, has shown that he has no respect for or knowledge of firearms. In behaving so irresponsibly toward his fellow citizens, and with such callous disregard for human life, President Clinton has once again demonstrated his unfitness to hold public office.”

Republican House Majority Leader Dick Boner immediately called for a full investigation of the shooting and the fact that the sheriff of Kennedy County, Texas, refused to intervene after the shooting, allowing the president to leave the state without launching a thorough investigation into the circumstances surrounding the shooting.

For his part, President Clinton has refused to meet with the press to discuss the matter. His press secretary, Dee Dee Myers, when asked at a press briefing if she had anything to say about the incident, declined to reply. “Why don’t you go ask the sheriff,” she said. “The president was not engaged in an official act, so we don’t have to tell you anything.”
/>Republican critics responded harshly. “We need to get rid of Clinton once and for all. He should be impeached, indicted and imprisoned,” said Republican Dick Cheney.

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Posted on 2/16/2006 ( Permanent Link )
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