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Synopsis
Eponine La Harpe, the heroine, is born with a third eye as a result of chromosomal breakage because her father, Ol' VD, has spent his entire life working in the South Texas chemical industry. Nevertheless, she is very beautiful, and is elected to be the homecoming queen at Richard Nixon High School. When the Fundamentalist Christian Right hears about it, they demonstrate against her because, they assert, she is not created in God's image, therefore has no soul, therefore not eligible to be homecoming queen. The National Guard is called in and there is a riot in the stadium parking lot.
This makes news on the Internet where it is seen in Paris by Guy de Maupaussant Rabinovitch, Creative Director of Agence Avertis, who is creating a publicity campaign for a revolutionary new software called Second Regard, which can do everything except walk your dog, and it can do that too. Seeing Eponine's photo, Rabinovitch decides that she has the cool, groovy, futuristic image he has been looking for to promote Second Regard.
He brings Eponine over to Paris, which is in the throws of revolution, similar to 1968 but longer (and better dressed), where half the city is in a state of permanent insurrection and the other half is living normally. There she meets Ali Muhammed in a wild bar called the Club Corinthe.
When Eponine's image appears on subway posters, Paris goes wild for her. Girls start wearing stick-on third eyes. A porn star releases a video in which she spreads her legs to reveal a winking eye. The red flag of revolution is taken down from the barricades and replaced with a white flag bearing a big eye.
Eponine and Ali stage a car crash at the Pont de l'Alma, in the exact spot where Princess Diana died. When Eponine wakes up in the hospital, she announces that Princess Diana visited her in her coma and instructed her to "continue my work." The press goes crazy worldwide.
While Eponine is giving a speech in London to the Royal Widows and Orphans Redemption Society, her boyfriend Ali, who went outside for some fresh air, is killed in a collision with a Chinese dinner deliveryman who is riding his bike recklessly. At his funeral, she as approached by Papu and Raj Bhopal of Bhopal Productions, a large Bombay film studio. They offer her the starring role in "The Monkey Princess", a musical comedy to be filmed on location in the jungles of Tamil Nadu state in Southern India. Eponine travels to India, where she meets her co-stars, three genetically altered orangutans whose brains were injected with human stem cells while they were in gestation. As a result, they speak very elegant English, and also Hindi and Urdu, and can also sing and dance. While they are all on location, the orangutans go on strike demanding their own individual trailers, cash, cars and fancy clothes. Because so much is at stake, Papu Bhopal is forced to accede to their demands.
After filming is completed, Papu proposes marriage to Eponine and she accepts, though she warns him that genetically it would be very risky to try to have children. Papu refuses to heed, however, and insists on conceiving a son. When the baby is born with a third eye in the middle of his forehead, Papu gets drunk and drives his Lamborghini off a cliff.
Eponine goes home to Texas and starts a band, with her playing "Wasted Days and Wasted Nights" on the accordion and the three orangutans, dressed like Elvis, playing backup. In the last scene they are playing in Gilley's dancehall in Houston with all Eponine's friends from around the world in the audience.
SEE: EPONINE IN PARIS
PAPU'S DECLARATION OF LOVE
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Posted on 12/1/2005
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