The Waltz of the Big Patos

The baby that cries loudest is the one that gets fed. That is how the public got stuck with the twin plague of Al Sharpton and Rush Limbaugh, who are the mirror image of each other. The truth always hurts, which is why Sharpton is threatening to sue Limbaugh, who is himself a gross obscene caricature of a human being, for tying him to Tawana Brawley, Crown Heights, the Duke University lacrosse team and any number of incidental obscenities throughout his career as a loudmouth plague. Sharpton, like Jesse Jackson, has made a good living from shaking down corporations, themselves huge thieves, for cash “donations” in the interest of racial harmony. He has achieved a certain level of social respectability due to the incredibly short memory of the public, and the last thing he needs is for people to be reminded of his long, insalubrious history of incontinent rabblerousing.

Limbaugh, of course, needs no introduction. He is a miserable piece of stinking offal, a fascistic, drug-addled piece of garbage whose contribution to the marketplace of ideas has been a history of hateful race baiting rants designed to induce mutual loathing and discord. Nobody in his right mind, or even not in his right mind, could mistake Limbaugh’s vile invective for anything except what it is: a cynical ploy to exploit the seething resentment of witless rubes for commercial profit. End of story. Whatever misgivings he might entertain about selling his soul are quickly resolved by perusal of his bank statement.

Limbaugh and Sharpton are in the same business – two ugly fatmen out to tear society apart for short term gain. Do I blame them? Hell no! They have to make their money somehow, and neither is fit to do honest work. They are America’s contribution to the worldwide fraternity of useless pieces of garbage who are only fit to lie and steal, and they should be recognized as such.

The only way to resolve the Limbaugh-Sharpton feud is for them to engage in a fatman sumo wrestling match on pay-per-view. That would be an appropriate venue for those obese windbags to settle their mutual grievance. They could even make a few bucks from the gate receipts because, let’s be clear, this is all about the money.

Limbaugh has a huge mansion in Palm Beach and Sharpton is living in a condo on Park Avenue. What else would these morons do for a living? Work as engineers? French translators? No, they’re useless pieces of junk, only suitable for low-level employment.

Wait a minute! I’m the dummy. I deluded myself into thinking that if I educated myself and developed useful skills I could make a good living. Boy, was I wrong! I have been taking care of my girlfriend for years, but all she does is pine away for her ex, who ran a ponzi scheme and stole money from immigrant laborers, earning himself a prison sentence and a felony record. That’s her idea, and society’s idea, of a real man.

No wonder the economy is in the shit bucket. The chickens had to eventually come home to roost, and now they are here. But as long as lazy scumbags like Rush Limbaugh dominate the public debate society will never wise up. What do I care? I may be out of a job, but I at least get to work out in the gym 5-6 days a week. A good body is the ultimate status symbol. At least I can look in the mirror without puking. Can Limbaugh or Sharpton say that?

Obama’s solution is to flood the system with liquidity and count on the same masturbators who got us into this mess to get us out of it. Goldman Sachs is benefiting from access to the Fed discount window, where it can obtain interest-free loans by committing worthless mortgage securities, which they obtained for pennies on the dollar, as collateral. Think they’ll ever redeem them? In addition, they are receiving billions of dollars of federal loan guarantees. Obama’s heart may be in the right place, but he is not as smart as he things he is. He is determining policy with the help of the same worthless deadbeats who never worked a day in their lives, like Lawrence Summers, whose main claim to fame is that he is the nephew of a couple of past big shots. Things may stabilize in the short run, but these geniuses are setting the scene for an even bigger crash farther on down the line. Seen in this light, Limbaugh and Sharpton are just a couple of penny-ante Coney Island sideshow freaks.

The undeniable fact is that Sharpton has prospered in the last few years, coincidental with the administration of Mayor Bloomberg, The Big Enchilada. Sharpton used to live in Bed-Stuy, pursued by the IRS and under the weight of a judgment to pay upstate prosecutor Steven Pagannis damages for libel and slander stemming from the Brawley case. Now he resides on Park Avenue and his missus shops at the Versace boutique on Madison Avenue. Without knowing anything, it’s entirely conceivable that Bloomberg, being elected in 2001, made a determination that he needed a sympathetic interlocutor from the Black community and settled upon Sharpton as the most compliant. What the details of such an arrangement might be, I am not in a position to appreciate, but they probably would not preclude a corporate donation to Sharpton’s activist efforts on behalf of the community.

Very few New Yorkers base their convictions on any kind of ideological or empirical foundation of philosophy. Basically, having no philosophical grounding whatsoever, their convictions are predicated on their perceived financial interest. Take Bloomberg. He is a Democrat who then shifted to Republicanism and then abandoned that party. I knew a guy on Wall Street who voted for Bush for the tax cuts and then became a Democrat when Bush fell into disfavor. Now he denies ever having been a Republican. It’s like John Kerry, who was for the resolution before he was against it, or Hillary Clinton, who voted for an Iraq resolution that she knew to be destructive. It may be intellectually stultifying to live in an environment like this, but precious few citizens have the wits to survive any other way. No point in talking to them about it. And they sure don’t have any sense of humor about it.

I have always had the conviction that New York’s official bird should be the seagull, which is an ill-tempered creature that would rather steal the food out of the next bird’s mouth than work for its own dinner. That about sums up the prevailing ethic of the City since historical times, sanctimonious professions of moralistic principle notwithstanding. The exigencies of modern living positively require you to have a short memory, and historical awareness is a social detriment, given the ongoing blunders people commit. The Republicans are counting on gaining seats in next year’s midterm elections. Giuliani, whose former chief of police and nominee for homeland security chief is currently in jail in the aptly-named upstate city of Valhalla, is preparing to run for governor. Paris Hilton is rumored to have had her hymen surgically restored (just kidding). It’s like a science fiction story where people’s minds are constantly set on the “Restart” button because nobody can even bear to be reminded of sins that they committed as recently as yesterday!

This is not to say that Sharpton does not perform many constructive acts. When Giuliani’s police unaccountably riddled a man in the Bronx with 41 bullets, or the time when the police jammed a toilet plunger up a man’s rectum in Brooklyn, Sharpton rightfully focused public attention on these acts of savage brutality. Somebody has to stand up for the people, particularly when you have an insane prick like Giuliani, who is a degenerate totalitarian pervert in drag, running the municipal government and the police. With his cross-dressing, his Hitlerite campaign against degenerate modern art, where he tried to shut down the Brooklyn Museum because he objected to one of its exhibits, and his promotion of the idiot bastard Kerik to the post of Director of National Security, much as Hitler appointed fiendish ghouls like Goebbels and Himmler in Germany, Giuliani actually created the need for Sharpton. The problem is, Sharpton’s mouth, like most New Yorkers’, runs faster than his brain, which has created some really ugly incidents. Anyway, Mayor Bloomberg’s carrot and stick approach, with his charitable donations to Sharpton’s “ministry” being the carrot and his willingness to cut off that funding being the stick, has resulted in a much more statesmanlike comportment on the part of Sharpton.

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