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HILLARY – Gee, Barack, you sure look sexy in your Somali goat herding suit! I always dreamed about a man who was handy around goats.
BARACK – What about your husband, ol’ fat Bubba?
HILLARY – He only likes pigs.
BARACK – The most important thing you have to learn about milking a goat is that you have to grab the teat hard, squeeze and pull.
HILLARY – Oooh! Look at all the milk that came out!
BARACK – That’s a male goat.
HILLARY – Barack, we have to resolve who is going to be in charge of herding the goats, me or you. I feel I have the most experience managing livestock from my years in Washington.
BARACK – That’s precisely my point. These goats need new leadership that is not corrupt and self-serving. My career has taught me the value of purity and honesty.
HILLARY – Where did you learn all that?
BARACK – Chicago.
HILLARY – Say, isn’t that where all the slaughterhouses are located?
BARACK – Not so loud! If the goats hear that word they’ll stampede!
HILLARY – It must get lonely sometimes being up here in these hills with just goats for company.
BARACK – Actually, goats can be quite romantic once you get past the smell.
HILLARY – Goats are romantic!??
BARACK – It’s a lot like being with my wife, though they don’t talk as much.
HILLARY – But sometimes you must feel the need to have a soft, warm woman around.
BARACK – Well, naturally I need some support in my role as head goatmaster.
HILLARY – Wait a minute! Who elected you?
BARACK – The goats have spoken.
HILLARY – Not so fast, buster! It’s not over until the fat lady sings!
BARACK – I didn’t know you could carry a tune.
HILLARY – The goats have already spoken. They want me!
BARACK – No, me!
HILLARY – There’s one way to settle this. Flip a coin. Heads I win, tails you lose.
BARACK – Wait a minute! That coin’s got two heads on it!
HILLARY – Any man knows that two heads are better than one. Anyway, forget this. Let’s let the superdelegates decide.
BARACK – Who are the superdelegates?
HILLARY – My husband Bubba, my daughter Chelsea and my dog Buddy.
BARACK – Your dog is a superdelegate?
HILLARY – Yeah, he represents New Jersey. Don’t worry, they’re used to it.
BARACK – Well, I want my slate of delegates.
HILLARY – Who are they?
BARACK – OJ, Pacman Jones and Michael Vick.
HILLARY – Hey, those guys are all crooks!
BARACK – Nobody’s perfect.
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Posted on 2/28/2008
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