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PACK OF ANGRY CHIHUAHUAS ATTACK OFFICER!
AP
FREMONT, California (Dec. 30) - A pack of angry Chihuahuas attacked a police officer who was escorting a teenager home following a traffic stop, authorities said.
The officer suffered minor injuries including bites to his ankle on Thursday when the five Chihuahuas escaped the 17-year-old boy's home and rushed the officer in the doorway, said Fremont detective Bill Veteran.
PRIMITIVO THE ATTACK CHICHAHUA!
Primitivo the Attack Chihuahua
Faster than a rocket
More powerful than a raging bull
And he fits right in your pocket
His father was a pit bull
His mother was a poodle
Though he was born in Mexico
He loved to whistle Yankee Doodle
I went down to the subway
With Primitivo in my pocket
He fit in nice and snug
But his head stuck out of it
The two cops on the platform
Saw us waiting for the train
They said “No dogs on the subway
We don’t want to see that mutt’s face again”
Primitivo leapt to the ground
And gave a mighty lion’s roar
He pulled so strongly on the leash
It dragged me across the floor
He charged the cops ferociously
His tiny teeth were gleaming
The cops took aim and fired their guns
While people ran for the exits screaming
They filled the tiny Chihuahua
With forty shots of burning lead
Still the mighty Primitivo
Would not fall down dead
All at once he lay down
Panting though not expired
In spite of all the shots the cops had fired
I ran over to where he lay
And fell down to my knees
Crying “Primitivo my heart’s devotion
Do not leave me please
Primitivo’s eyes glazed over
His tongue hung down to the concrete floor
He took a last lick at a piece of gum
That happened to be stuck there
He said “O papí me siento malo
Creo que me voy a morir
Se la termina mi vida
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina!”
The cops ran over and removed their hats in silent tribute
They reloaded their pistols
And fired a twenty-one gun salute
They said “Primitivo is the greatest dog
We ever had to kill
Though we shot him forty times
We did not wish him ill”
When the mayor heard the news of Primitivo’s untimely demise
It came to him as no surprise
He said “It is the duty of the cops
To shoot Chihuahuas with no warning
But due to the loss of an authentic canine hero
I’m declaring a national day of mourning”
Condolences poured in from all the countries of the world
A life-sized bronze statue of Primitivo was unfurled
Although it was only six inches tall
They installed it in Washington at the National Mall
Primitivo went down in history
As a world-wide legend
While he looked down upon us
From up in doggie heaven
Even the astral constellations of the sky
Transformed their celestial configuration
As Primitivo the Attack Chihuahua
Became an astronomical infatuation
When the astronomers pointed their telescopes up to the sky
They were astonished to see a Chihuahua fly by
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Posted on 10/26/2005
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