Have You Seen My Wife?

I got into town on track forty-four
My heart so excited I couldn't relax no more
When I tried to put my key in the door
The son-of-a-gun wouldn't fit no more

Have you seen my wife?
I ain't seen her
Have you seen my wife?
I ain't seen her
Have you seen my wife she's the joy of my life
And when I catch that woman I'm goin' to jail for life

I went downstairs for a scotch and a beer
They said "Hey, bro, what are you doin' here?"
I said "My old lady locked me out of the house"
And the whole place went quiet as a mouse

I said "Hey Billy you're my best friend
Can you tell me where my wife has been?"
He said "Man, I ain't kiddin'
You got you a nasty woman"

He said "I don't wanna' be the one to tell
But she's in room thirteen of the Chelsea Hotel
All I know is she ain't been around
Since the Navy got to town"

I said "Take this satchel away from me
It's filled with beer, wine and scotch whiskey
Just take up a collection to make my bail
'Cause when I catch that woman I'm goin' to jail"

I ran around the corner to the Chelsea Hotel
And sure enough I caught her up there with a sailor
She said "Look , baby, I won't give you no dodge
Only new cars park in this garage!"

Then she tried to push my ass out of the door
I knew in my heart I couldn't take no more
I reached in my pocket and gave out with a roar
And pulled out my pearl-handled forty-four

I said "Look, baby, it's plain to see
That you are coming home with me
So get your things on and get out of this place
Before this little sucker blows up in your face!

Have you seen my wife?
I ain't seen her
Have you seen my wife
I ain't seen her
Have you seen my wife she's the joy of my life
And if I catch that woman I'm goin' to jail for life

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Posted on 10/20/2005 ( Permanent Link )
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