FOCUS GROUP OF THE DAY:

OK, gang. I have two versions of the previously referenced Uncle Sam Obama commercial to show you and I'm looking for feedback. They can be viewed at the link below. Visually, the edits are pretty similar (although there are a few differences). The big difference is the music. One piece keeps the communication sort of light and comedic. The other adds emotional weight--and turns it into a very different kind of experience. That piece of music has graphic language that would, of course, prevent it from airing on broadcast television. Don't worry about that--as my intention right now is just to upload the spot to Youtube. I'd really appreciate it if you'd indicate which version you prefer in the comments section below or, if you are reluctant to share your opinions on the blog, by sending me an e-mail at tcohn725@aol.com.

Finally, I want to thank those of you who submitted musical suggestions--many of which had real merit and appeal but, at least in our brief experimentation with them in the edit room, didn't seem to work as well as the ones we selected.

Anyhow, eager to see what you guys think.

Www.breatheediting.net:8000

Username: ted
Password: ted

FILE IT UNDER "UH, NO": ITEM OF THE DAY:

SIOUX FALLS, S.D. - Former Sen. George McGovern, who backed Hillary Rodham Clinton, is urging her to drop out of the Democratic presidential race.

McGovern said Wednesday he has decided to endorse Barack Obama. After watching the returns from the North Carolina and Indiana primaries Tuesday night, McGovern says it's virtually impossible for Clinton to win the nomination.

McGovern says he is calling former President Clinton to tell him of the decision AND ADDS THAT HE REMAINS CLOSE FRIENDS WITH THE CLINTONS. (Caps Mine).

LFAQs of the DAY:

Where will they find McGovern's body? What will the Clintons' alibi be?

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to lend yourself $6.4 Million?

When did Hillary become Bush? When did she become the cocksure, unapologetic, belligerent, reality-denying, debt-financed blue collar millionaire candidate you want to have a beer with?

Will Hillary stay in the Presidential race straight through the next administration?

If Hillary forces herself upon Obama as VP (as rumor has it she intends to) , how many extra body guards will he have to hire in the White House?

Was it all downhill since I left or did the party just get started?

On the occasion of Israel’s 60th birthday: Who is aging more gracefully: Israel or Bill Clinton?

How do you act like Christopher Walken without sounding like Christopher Walken?

Is there an opposite of Schadenfreude? And if so, is it empathy, jealousy or something else?

I saw a commercial that said "We don;t make comrpomises. We make Saabs." Then I saw one that said "We don't make compromises. We make Marines." So, are Marines Saabs? And if not, should the Marines' tagline be changed to "We don't make compromises. Or, for that matter, very original comm...

Continue reading MCGOVERN, WALKEN, GIFT HORSES, HIDDEN GIFTS, MEMORIES, DEATH, URINALS...THE USUAL after the jump

Corn...

Continue reading TRIBUTE TO ROCHELLE RATNER @ CORNELIA STREET CAFE after the jump

Conveniently located at CVS checkout stands because we all know
Manhattan is plagued with poison ivy.

NARRATIVE OF THE DAY: Following Philip Roth.

So I am walking north on Columbus, thinking about the pair of shoes—a pair of really, really nice shoes-- I have just seen in a store with the model name "Narrative." I am thinking: "Note to Self for Blog. Object of Desire of the Day: A shoe called Narrative. Maybe elaborate that into some little narrative about the death (or at least declining prestige) of narrative. And maybe an LFAQ: Would I desire the shoes quite as much if they did not sport a name with such theoretical cachet--knowing my predeliction for possessing ideas or concepts rather than objects. (Hence my collection of random domain names.)?" So, in any event, I'm walking up Columbus, thinking about a shoe called Narrative, when who do I see pass but that Professor of Desire and narrative himself, Philip Roth. Yup. Philip Freaking Roth. Plain as day--sporting a navy blue blazer and grey pants and walking sort of stiffly, his arms hanging, it seems, ever so slightly asymmetrically--the right one a bit lower than the left. Needless, to say, I immediately stop my reflections about a shoe called Narrative and turn around to follow in the famous narrator's footsteps.

He turns off of Columbus ("Goodbye, Columbus", I think to myself) and onto 72nd St. No one else seems to recognize him--ah blessed anonymity (or at least discretion) of NY--so much so that I am momentarily concerned that I have stumbled upon a mere lookalike. An accountant doppelganger. My doubts are put to rest when a husky red haired man sporting multiple Tip Top Shoe bags and some dry cleaning effusively accosts him. The man, looking like a cross between Michael Moore and Drew Carey and sounding a bit like the chubby guy in Superbad, thanks him "for everything...for everything" and tells him some story I can't make out about a friend who writes for the New Yorker that must in some way be a propos. Phillip Roth thank...

Continue reading FOLLOWING PHILIP ROTH AND A SHOE CALLED NARRATIVE after the jump

POLITICAL COMMENTS:

Well, the Pennsylvania Primary went pretty much exactly as everyone expected it would. Neither changing nor resolving anything and simply extending the agony. It did, unfortunately, help remind people of the unfortunate recalcitrance of the race issue. In exit polls, 13% of Pennsylvania voters acknowledged that race was a factor in determining who got their vote--with 75% of those 13% voting for Hillary. If 13% openly admit that race was a factor, one can only assume--given the stigma of such an admission--that the true percentage for whom it figured prominently is much higher. Assuming he wins the nomination (which remains the only reasonable assumption), Democrats will ultimately be reduced to hoping that ageism trumps racism as a factor influencing voters. Which is all pretty sad and sordid considering this is a campaign based on hope, unity and the common concerns that transcend our differences. It seems like while the rhetoric will remian, "we are not red states and blue states, we are the United States of America", the underlying political reality will be "we are not red states and blue states, but the racially, chronologically, demographically, ethnically, economically and sexually stratified and separate voting blocks of America."

At the end of the Day, I sort of get a kick out of Hillary's irrepressible cheesiness.

GOAL OF THIS EARTH DAY:

To decrease my carbon footprint but increase my jargon footprint.

LFAQs:

Has any creature ever lost more status through an act of renaming than the mystical ancient Egyptian scarab who is now known as the dung beatle?

Is Chipotle the only company in the world to begin its earnings report with a reference to Michael Pollan's book "In Defense of Food?"

Is Hillary using Bin Laden's image in scare tactic negative ads against Obama even more objectionable than the ...

Continue reading FROM TONTO KOWALSKI TO RED BULL HEBREWSKI AND BEYOND after the jump

POLITICAL COMMENT OF THE DAY:

(A propos of all the "bitterness" and "elitism" charges, the inane questioning and the political posturing at the Democratic debate.)

The candidates' outrage is totally manufactured but the media's fatuousness and the pundits' cluelessness seem totally sincere.

PASSOVER REFLECTION OF THE DAY:

I detect among my Jewish friends a subtle sense of enslavement to the ritual that commemorates their emancipation from slavery.

TECHNOLOGICAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:

What was most impressive about his screenplay was that he was able to write something so creative on a Dell and not a Mac.

COMMMENT ON RELIGION OF THE DAY:

(Prompted by the visit of the Pope and with all apologies to my religiously observant readers--whose practices and relationship to religious authority I suspect I would have no problem with.)

I have nothing against religious leaders. But I do have a problem with religious followers.

SENTENCE OF THE DAY:

If i didn't know any better i'd think you were trying to give me a heteronormative look.

CONFESSION OF THE DAY:

I just woke up this morning with an urge to use the word "heteronormative." (Yesterday, it was "apodictic.")

SPECTACLE OF THE DAY:

People on the Bill Maher show looking at Cornell West like the people in the crowd look at the Improv Everywhere performances I talked about the other day---their expectations undermined...their faces reflecting bafflement, shock, amusement, appreciation etc...Improv Everywhere should do a segment called Cornell West Everywhere where they just film the faces of the people who are listening to him talk.

LFAQs of THE DAY:

Is Tiger Woods' knee surgery just a ploy to get golf some cred as a sport?

Can you be precociously...

Continue reading THE POPE, PASSOVER, CORNELL WEST ETC. after the jump

CELEBRITY RESEMBLANCE TRIANGULATION OF THE DAY: (Back after long absence and not exactly by popular demand.)

Subject: Jack Johnson.

And the vertices of this similitude scalene are:

OJ Simpson
Jeremy Piven
Val Kilmer (the eyes!!).

SIGN OF END TIMES OF THE DAY:

There was no line at Trader Joe’s

THOUGHT EXPERIMENT OF THE DAY:

Imagine a dog or a kid in New York City named Honk. Actually not the word "Honk" but the unspellable sound of a honk.

MORE INTERESTING THOUGHT EXPERIMENT OF THE DAY:

OK, so Monte Hall says you can pick door number 1, 2 or 3. There's a goat behind two of the doors and a new car behind the third. You pick a door and then he opens one of the two doors you did not select to reveal a goat standing behind it. Now he asks you: Would you like to swap the door you've selected for the remaining door. Every fiber in your being will insist that there is no benefit to swapping the door you've chosen for the one you're now being offered. That the revelation that a third door was not the winning door should have no possible impact on the relative likelihoods of either of the two remaining doors being right or wrong. And yet, in flagrant defiance of both one's intuition and one's sense of logic, it turns out that it is in fact in your interest to swap your selection for the other door. This is called the Monte Hall problem and it is a famous--and famously maddening-- probability problem.

OBSERVATIONS OF THE DAY:

a)

There is always a last time for everything.—although we are rarely blessed or cursed with knowing when it is happening.

b)

Dried plums taste an awful lot like prunes.

ENTERTAINING MEDICALLY RELATED ACTIVITIES OF THE DAY:

a) Proposed Social Event:

Blood pressure party. (Where everyone gets their bloo...

Continue reading JACK JOHNSON, MONTE HALL, ACHILLES' THUMBS, IMPROV EVERYWHERE ETC. (NEW AND NUTRITIONALLY ENHANCED). after the jump

EXCUSE OF THE DAY: (In honor of Hillary)

Sorry I'm late for the status meeting. The sniper fire on my commute was heavier than usual.

REVELATION OF THE DAY: (In honor of David Paterson)

Even blind guys have a wandering eye.

LFAQ of THE DAY:

Yes, it's a terrible thing. But why is it that we know 4000 times as much about the pregnant marine who was killed in the U.S. than we do about the 4000 troops who've died in Iraq?

PROPOSED POLITICAL COMMERCIAL OF THE DAY:

Moveon.org is challenging people to submit 30 second commercials that communicate why Obama should be the next president of the United States. I tried to avoid messages that were bitter and negative or that merely preached to the choir and I came up with the following idea which I submit in roughly scripted form for your feedback.

"America in the Mirror"

We open on a slightly stooped, run down, disheveled looking Uncle Sam walking down the street. He gets a glimpse of himself in a full length mirror and does a double take. He isn't proud of what he sees.

He adjusts his hat--so it's no longer askew.

He straightens out his off-kilter bowtie.

He sees some food stuck in his white beard and removes it.

He realizes a few buttons on his shirt are misaligned so he re-buttons them correctly--then tucks in his shirt.

He adjusts his jacket, shaking out the wrinkles.

Now he likes what he sees. He stands up tall and gives himself a little "That's more like it!" nod.

TITLE CARD: America, Let's feel good about ourself again.

TITLE CARD: Elect Barack Obama.

Cut back to the new, high self-esteem Uncle Sam giving himself a little "Hey, you're looking pretty good!" look in the mirror.

OBAMA: (Unseen audio). Yes. We. Can.

CONFE...

Continue reading PROPOSED OBAMA AD, ETC. after the jump